What I like about Ewan Macgregor: He's short and he has a big unit (by the way, was that movie called memoirs of a Geisha? Can't be bothered to look), kind of like me. The Island is a religious allegory, but you already knew that, it's so obvious that the fourteen year-olds who watched the movie got it. It's interesting that they dug up the guy who you used to be on Benson for the role of lovable, dopey sidekick. Macgregor does not look as young as he should for the part. You get the feeling that it was written for a younger, less jaded-looking person. But I digress.

This is the smartest movie that Baz Lurhma- er, I mean, Michael Bay has ever done. Meaning that it's for the more discerning short-bus rider. It's for the discerning short-bus rider in all of us. It's for the lustful 13 year-old virgin aching for a glimpse of Ewan's testicle cameltoe in all of us. Or maybe not.

It could also be a political allegory. I live in the Third World, and it could also be symbolizing to an escape to the USA. Okay, that's a stretch. But maybe not.