Unfortunate Bastard

2011-07-11T00:39:00.000-07:00

The true Gospel is Salvation based solely on the atoning blood and imputed righteousness of Jesus Christ alone. All gospels that preach anything different are false, including those that state that Christ died for everyone, or that Christ loved and loves everyone. More here. Salvation is not conditioned on the sinner's decision to "give their life to Christ" , or "accept Christ's love" as most of the world's false Christians believe it to be. Anyone who believes these things is unsaved. Faith in the true gospel is the evidence of salvation.

Why am I saying this here? I don't even remember what was written on this website. I am pretty sure that I would not endorse any of it now. I put this here in love so that whomever may be interested might read it. This is what is important. Believe and repent.

Apocalypto (2006)

2007-07-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

Apocalypto (2006)

This movie could also be called Good Things Roman Catholics Have Done For the World, that is, if you define "world" as South America and "good thigs" as savagery equal or greater than that depicted in the movie. Anyway, there isn't much of a story, the movie is mostly spectacle. It held my attention, like Mel Gibson's Braveheart, but did little more than that. The problem for Gibson here was for us to get us to care about Jaguar Claw, involved with him and his life, the two obstacles the obstacles being language (the mnovie is subtitled) and culture. It did not work because we did not know enough about him, did not get to empathize. At the end I did not feel cheated by the deus ex machina, nor did I feel satisfied, I was just slightly short of being happy it was over.

The absurdly macho pyrotechnics of Smokin' Aces. - By Dana Stevens - Slate Magazine

2007-06-23T20:45:00.000-07:00

The absurdly macho pyrotechnics of Smokin' Aces. - By Dana Stevens - Slate Magazine: "The weirdly magnetic Piven is the only reason I still watch HBO's Entourage (which I've inveighed against here and here). He's a mercurial actor, one of the few I could imagine effecting the transition from magician to gang lord. (Isn't it always the way? One minute they're pulling bunnies from hats, the next they're collecting protection money.) But Piven is powerless to combat the deep stupidity of this role, and his performance ranges from adequate (in the comic scenes) to excruciating (in the 'tragic' ones). At the movie's puzzling dramatic nadir, Buddy stares blearily into the bathroom mirror, wearing a single bright-blue contact lens, as a tear rolls down his cheek. I wish my insurance covered Lasik surgery too, but you don't see me crying about it."

Grindhouse is bloody good. - By Dana Stevens - Slate Magazine

2007-06-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

Grindhouse is bloody good. - By Dana Stevens - Slate Magazine: "But Death Proof is a reminder of what there was to like about Tarantino in the first place: his uncanny ear for dialogue that's at once naturalistic and deliriously wordy, his kinetic action sequences, and his voracious love for cinema in all its incarnations, especially the sleazy ones. With its lean 90-minute running time and a near-complete absence of CGI, Death Proof feels like an experiment in austerity after more than a decade in which Tarantino had free run of the special-effects candy store. And it works fabulously, much to the surprise of this generally Tarantino-weary writer."

2007-06-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

Music and LyricsIf I want original I will so somewhere else, look somewhere other than the "romantic comedy" genre. Part of why I liked Music and Lyrics is the fact that it is so predictable. the genre has a rhythm. Meeting then growing attraction then signs of death, then break up, then the great climactic reconnection. The pattern of the story is just a canvas, however, just like the death of the bad guy at the end of an action movie. How the bad guy dies, and how bad he is is the real art, just like in a Hugh Grant movie, variations in how charming, how funny, how much he can avoid annoying you, are the tools of self-expression.

The movie itself, is about two strangers writing a pop-song, and it's funny if you get the references, if you know who Wham or A-ha or Duran Duran were. Barrymore is, as she always is, winning and sweet and vulnerable to the point where you wish that people like that existed in real life and that you knew them and they liked you. Grant has a very definite sense of humor, I always knew it, even when he was annoying me and in this movie, beset by age, he shows it more than in any film before. They sold me the story, and I liked it.

Music & Lyrics

Hugh Grant ... Alex Fletcher
Drew Barrymore ... Sophie Fisher
Brad Garrett ... Chris Riley
Kristen Johnston ... Rhonda Fisher
Campbell Scott ... Sloan Cates
Scott Porter ... Colin Thompson

Technorati Tags: Hugh, Grant, Drew, Barrymore, Music, Lyrics, movie, film, review, movies, comedy, romantic, 80's, wham, duran+duran, pop, music, writing

2007-06-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

The Royal Tenenbaums

I never got to see this one because none of the video stores I frequented had it in stock. It's not your average person's idea of a comedy. Not to say that there is anything wrong with liking average comedy, just that this is isn't it.

One sentence summary: Amoral asshole dad tries to win back the favor of his genius family.

No, it doesn't sound like much with a one-sentence summary, but it's one of those movies that work on quirk and low-key dryness. I would have said that Bill Murray would have been excellent as Royal Tenenbaum except Gene Hackman did such a brilliant job. Is there anything quite as funny as an uninhibited, remorseless liar? Well, in this movie there isn't. Hackman as Tenenbaum steals every scene and makes you like him long before he tries to change his ways. Something about the fact that he never gives up, is never discouraged, reads spy-novels and encyclopedias.

Technorati Tags: Royal, Tenenbaums, movie, comedy, cinema, DVD, film, Gene, Hackman, Anjelica, Huston, Gwymeth, Paltrow, Luke, Wilson, Owen, Ben, Stiller,

Man Rips Wife's Eyes Out

2007-03-23T11:08:00.001-07:00

A MAN who ripped out his wife's eyes in a fit of rage was sentenced by a French court to 30 years behind bars today.

Mohamed Hadfi, 31, tore out his 23-year-old wife Samira Bari's eyes following a heated argument in their apartment in the southern French city of Nimes in July 2003 after she refused to have sex with him.

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Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels

2007-03-23T09:48:00.001-07:00

Have you seen Snatch? Well this is Snatch without the Pikies or the diamond. If you haven't seen Snatch, well, you should, but you should see this first.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is worth seeing because it has a cool title, yes, and because even though 80 percent of the plot was recycled for the smoother, more professional Snatch, it's still entertaining. The plot: 4 friends pool their savings for a high-stakes card game, only to lose it because the game is rigged. They wind up 500,000 pounds in the hole and must pay a violent criminal named Hatchet Harry (Bricktop without the pigs) or his henchman will cut their fingers off. Add to this a complicated set of subplots involving antique guns and stolen weed, and you have a fairly entertaining heist movie. Much of the acting is amateurish, very much like community-theater, but remember, the actors aren't the stars here, Guy Ritchie is. It's smartly written and smartly directed. Ritchie's content is very similar to Quentin Tarantino's in that both men seem heavily influenced by Elmore Leonard, but Richie's work feels more like a EL fast-paced books than Tarantino's.

Note that this is a British movie, with a wide range of regional English accents, so if you are one of those people who can't understand people from other states, let alone from other countries, keep your subtitles on.

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2006-07-10T15:52:00.000-07:00

I don't get a lot of free time. I had a choice between this, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, The Devil Wear Prada, and I chose to spend a Saturday afternoon on this sorry, miserable feature. Woe is me. The best part of the whole thing was the trailer for Talladega Nights, 2 Minutes of which was funnier than all 9 hours of Click.

This piece of Happy Gilmore Productions shit was even more miserable and even more embarrasingly stupid than Sandler's re-make of The Longest Yard which had all the wit of a dinner-table fart.

Guy (Adam Sandler) gets a "universal remote-control" that enables him to control his life. Speed through the the boring parts, mute annoying people, and so on and so forth. It's a concept with exactly zero interesting possiblities beyond marginally interesting digital special-effects. You get the idea that this was written for little kids, but dirtied up by the "S-word" to get PG-13 and draw in the 10 year-olds; I have a prejudice against PG-13 movies for exactly this reason.

Is there anything good about his movie?
1. Special effects. Nothing new, really.

2. Fat-chick and fart jokes. Oh yeah, and there's this dog that humps a stuffed duck. Ha.

3. Christopher Walken. No, not really. He is seriously creepy in this one. I mean pedophile-creepy.

4. David Hasselhoff. No, also very creepy.

5. The Make-up. Ok, yes, this movie had some of the best aging make-up I have ever sen in a hollywood film. Still not a good enough reason to waste your time on it.

This is one of those few movies with absolutely no merit whatsoever. I mean NONE.

2006-06-08T15:38:00.002-07:00

The only other book by Dashiell Hammett I have ever read was the Maltese Falcon a few years ago. I was at a different point in my life and therefore my take on the book, my ability to assess it's quality (if literature can be assessed for quality) was somewhat less developed than I believe it is now. In any case, I was not particularly impressed by Mr Hammett, though I remember that for some time I listed him as a favorite author because it sounded good and his name is easy to remember. At least to me. He would be among those authors I read becasue they are easy, not because they are good. It took me a while to get through The Maltese Falcon, and I imagine what enjoyment I got came from my picturing Humphrey Bogart in the part of Sam Spade.

I started The Thin Man a few nights ago and while not impressed my Mr Hammett's talent, though I am sure it's there, I find the book easy to read, if not particularly original. I imagine that at the time Nick Charles, wealthy, connected American Private Eye might have been something of a novelty among your down-on-their-luck working-class pulp-fic gumshoes. I don't really care. I don't care about the people in the book either, but, like I said, it's all easy to read.

The Thin Man is cute, it's a chick-flick kid's story of a murder-mystery, and while mildly annoying, it's also vaguely pleasant. I can read knowing that I will not be disturbed in the least, which is a little bit of a relief.

Technorati Tags: Dashiell, Hammett, The, Thin, Man, novel, fiction, mystery, murder, book, books, novels, reading, writing, read, reader, story, stories, Humphrey, Bogart, Movies, Movie, Maltese, Falcon, Nick, Charles

2006-06-08T15:38:00.001-07:00

2006-06-08T15:38:00.000-07:00

2006-06-06T15:33:00.000-07:00

Jim Thompson's work has the feel of a writer trying to recreate the seaminess and ugliness of real life, and doing a fair job. That seems to be his motive: to let you in on the dark side. To some extent he succeeds, there is an ugliness in his fiction that approximates the more obvious (as opposed to the more subtle) ugly apsects of humanity, human life, human society. Most of it has no shelf-life, transcends the time in which it was written in and the generation to which he belonged, especially since Thompson's mission was never to create lovable characters who have hope and wind up happy.

Technorati Tags: Jim, Thompson, book, books, story, stories, fiction, fictional, noir, crime, mystery, suspense, genre, novel, novels, writer, writing, write,

2006-05-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

BUYING TIME
I am somewhere between the two base camps of literature, the first being the idea of fiction as art, as personal expression, and to the reader, as a means of seeing another perspective, hopefully one deeper than your own, from someone who spends more time thinking. The idea is of the story as a means to say, to share. The other is of fiction as a product (by "product" I mean an item with a specific function). This latter involves manipulation, it involves a willingness of the reader to entrust their imaginations to you in return for an intellectual amusment park ride designed by you.

Fiction - The Art, The Beautiful Swing that Misses
One man's art is another man's boring schoolwork. Writing for the purpose of beautiful expression is as pointless and masturbatory an endeavor as you can have. The elegance that is there for the people who have the time to go looking for it. So you have something to say...what now? How profound is it? Somebody else has seen it, somebody else has said it, so what's your twist? How will knowing what you have to say change my life? In other words, are you worth
the time? Fiction in this sense is a form of higher communication, a reaching out of the soul. This involves my own personal ideas about life and people. This art is limited to my own personal opinions. This is me speaking to you, earnestly, honestly. Here the characters represent real people.

Fiction - The Product, Heroin of the Soul
The idea is of fiction as a simple product. An item to be purchased or sold. A diversion, not unlike a greeting card or a boardgame. Something with which to pass the time by firing the imagination or by doping it into submission. There is nothing moral about artificial human beings, they are words on a page, not concepts, not truth. They bare a similarity to real-life only insofar as is necessary to serve the purpose of the product. They die because people die and death inspires a reaction, they fuck and fear and yearn because it gets your attention. In other words, death, violence, sex are tools of diversion with no bearing on real life. Here the characters are props.

BUYING TIME

It feels like a scene from bad TV show, me waiting here in the kitchen like this. I can't think of a specific TV show, but think of something old, and American, and in black-and-white. You know the kind - Dad finds out that Timmy stole a bicycle so Dad tells him what a good boy he is, and how he knows that he would never steal a bicycle, even though he knows that little Timmy is a fucking thief the whole time. It guilts Timmy into a confession, because his dad believes in him, see? That's what it feels like, like they are trying to guilt me into saying something.

This is where I start to have that feeling, the pressure creeping up my chest till it's right level with my collarbone. I get this look on my face like I'm about to cry. It's completely involuntary. I go inward looking so hard at what's inside that forget to hide what I feel. I take the look off my face as soon as I realize it's there.

But what if I was wrong, what if they didn't know? What if they are telling the truth? You never know. People get desperate, they get greedy. All kinds of good reasons for bad judgment.

It was always a hopeless case, this laptop-for-rent shit. You don't rent in Jamaica, unless it's something so big that no one can run away with it easily. You rent marquis to people having fairs and concerts, you rent giant fridge-sized speakers for shows, you might even rent a truck or shipping containers, but you don't rent the small and expensive. They should have known better.

My aunt she's flitting about the kitchen making lunch. Happy in the belief that she is making money, that there are people right now using our laptops and paying money into our account. She's buying time till she won't look anxious, or over-eager when she asks. She's probably waiting till after dinner.
It's only a matter of time.

They cannot possibly have invested their life savings, their house in me. Me of all people. They have got to be bullshitting. You would have to be delusional, mentally ill, or so desperate that you can't blame anybody else. It can't be my fault, it has to be your fear, or your greed that drove you into it. I mean I was just what came along, it wasn't me you put your money in with, me the guy who has fucked up everything he ever touched. You bet your savings on the only available horse. It would have been the next guy if it hadn't been me. I mean seriously, how hard did I work to get them to do it. I just said what the idea was, they made their minds up.

My aunt she seems so happy. So secure. It's as if a burden has been taken off her shoulders. I want to tell her that all along I new it wouldn't work, I just needed to buy time. If I had that money then I wouldn't be broke, wouldn't go homeless. That all her money did was buy time.

The food-smell makes me sick.

"Back in a minute." I say to her.
Out in the backyard I put a cigarette in my mouth and the world feels like it's the end of days, where the hours are a second long and you are rushing to the edge of eternity like a jetliner into the side of a Latin American mountain. There is nothing but my impending destitution and the possibility that I fucked the only people I ever mattered to. If I'm going to be living on the street, why should it matter to me what they think of me or where they are?

I start thinking about suicide again. No way doI have the balls to face the other side of any kind of reality without being kicked into it, but sometimes it helps just to think about it. You feel better knowing that you are that far down. I put the lighter back into my pocket and feel the knife there. Now if I could just buy myself some more time...

They would know later, when the bank called, that I did it because I was full of remorse. They might not be so angry then, so disappointed in me.

"Jeff! Dinner's ready!" Yells Aunt Myra.

The cigarette falls from my lips in the hurry to grab and open the knife. I still think, seeing that I have no choice, that it won't be fatal. Will have to be a hell of a cut though. Get an ambulance and everything.

There is no thought here, just rapid spasms, jerky motions: the struggle to get the knife open, looking at my shirt and hesititating about destroying it.

I stick the knife into my left forearm. Just one quick plunge, once it's in and I feel the first sting and the feeling of violation, it's still not so hard to pull it down to my elbow. I can see the layer of fat under my skin before it wells up with blood. The blade moves through the rubbery gumminess that is my physical presence easier than I would have thought. I move quickly before my brain gets the message and starts screaming. Then I have to drop the knife. I start to run back to the house so they can see. but the blood it just pouring down off my arm, onto the leg of my jeans like warm thick piss. It would be so hard now, would it? I mean to just sit down and wait it out. Wait to see if this would end it. All the bullshit struggling, all the banging my head against the stonewall of this fucking country, this fucking life. The hard part's already done.

So I stop running, instead of going inside, I sit down on the grass in their backyard and I wait to see what will happen now.

THE END

Technorati Tags: suicide, depression, Jamaica, hopelessness, tv, television, short, story, fiction, writing, literature, writer, reading, reader, stories,

2006-04-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

Jim Thompson: The Grifters (Orion Crime Fiction-Paperback)

I remember seeing the movie as a wee lad in Jamaica, back when Anjelica Huston looked more human and less like a bad CGI animation from a Harry Potter movie. Annette Bening was hot too, which she still is, only in a different way, and John Cusack was perfectly cast as Roy Dillon, even if he was never, in my opinion, anyway, handsome. Roy Dillon, was supposed to be, among other things, abnormally good-looking.

So here I am thirty-one years old, pseudo-Jamaican, living in Charleston, SC, and I'm reading Thompson's ultra-simple prose and wondering why I like this book since it seems to have no literary merit. I'm also reading Robert Alain Grille's Repitition which I find tedious and trivial and pretentious. Maybe Thompson is ruining me the way Faulkner ruined me for a time. The edginess, the casual seaminess, the easy amorality, is so very easy to identify with. Maybe this is how I will start writing now. Maybe my characters will have only basic internal monologues, be completely without compassion or shame.

I've spent alot of time looking in real-world bookstores for Mr Thompson's books (I don't usually buy online unless it's something I can't find in a store where I can actually touch and open the book). They have been hard to find and I have no idea why.

Technorati Tags: Anjelica, Huston, The, Grifters, John, Cusack, Jim, Thompson, Harry, Potter, Annette, Bening, Roy, Dillon, GGI, Effects, book, books, movie, movies, dvd, classic, pulp, fiction, novel, novels, reading, writing, story, stories, William, Faulkner, film, films, cinema, , incest, maternal, oedipus

2006-04-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

Lucky Number Slevin

The good things about this movie:
The dialogue with its would-be David Mamet coolness that only sometimes succeeds, Lucy Liu with her freckles, Josh Hartnett who has a sense of humor mature enough to make you like him in this role, Ben Kingsley's performance, Ben Kingsley's role, Morgan Freeman's performance in a sucky part, the title-credits, the name "Slevin Kellavra".

The bad things about this movie:
The dialogue with its would-be David Mamet coolness that so often falls short, Lucy Liu with her minor-league talent, Josh Hartnett with his smugness, the fact that everybody in this movie is an asshole. Yes, even Lindsay, who is too dumb to live.

The Plot:
Slevin (Josh Hartnett) gets "mistaken" for a guy who owes a lot of money to rival crime lords "the Rabbi" (Ben Kingsley)and "the Boss" (Morgan Freeman). In order to pay The Boss his $96,000, he is asked to take out The Rabbi's son in retaliation for The Boss's son having been assassinated by the aforementioned Rabbi earlier. It's both more and less complicated than it sounds. Nothing in this movie approaches, or is meant to approach, real life, but it manages to get away with it on actor charisma and tight editing. You won't be bored, and you probably won't want your money back.

"I liked the fact that the good guys are bad-asses, and that the bad guys really do get what they deserve (everything they love taken from them, then death)." That's not really a spoiler...

Rated R for some nudity, some explicit sex, a few curse-words, a little blood and brain-matter.

If you really liked this movie you should buy these:

Technorati Tags: David, Mamet, Bruce, Willis, Josh, Hartnett, Morgan, Freeman, Ben, Kingsley, Lucky, Number, Slevin, Stanley, Tucci, The, Heist, , Sting, movies, television, cable, film, films, cinema, acting, actor, roles, parts, script, director, action, cinemas, hit-man, assassin,

2006-04-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

It's interesting that movies and books with/about the Southern United States or Southerners so often have quirky sexual themes. The Grifters' Lily Dillon has a quasi-incestuous relationship with her son, Roy, for instance, then there is the "entrapment" of the soldier in The Beguiled, Faulkner's work is riddled with sexually precocious youngsters, rapes and "almost-rapes", sexual bargaining and compromise, and, of course, there is Deliverance. It all has to do with family and clannishness (especially if you consider a plantation a clan, which they kind of were). I am not familiar with enough of this side of the south to say why exactly, or to put my finger on how it all works, or even if it exists purely in fiction.

Technorati Tags: The, Grifters, Lily, Roy, Dillon, books, movies, south, southern, united, states, america, sex, incest, incestuous, william, faulkner

2006-04-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

I've spent years looking for a Jim Thompson book. I can't find them in the local library or at the local B&N, and it wasn't enough of a priority for me to spend too much time or money. Currently reading The Grifters. He has the most straightforward, possibly bland, prose-style I have ever seen outside of the work I did when I was 15 or 16 years old.

anjelica huston jim thompson John Cusack The Grifters movies film cinema books literature pulp

2006-03-30T15:33:00.000-08:00

Darkness Take My Hand

I've read four of Dennis Lehane's books, I was impressed with the first three: Shutter Island, Mystic River, and A Drink Before the War. They were smart and witty, with none of the filler of, say, a Robert Crais, who really doesn't have anything to say or a story to tell, but writes anyway. Darkness, Take my Hand is by far the least impressive of the Lehane novels I have read so far, though it does not sink the depths of your latter Elvis Cole novels (Crais showed promise with The Monkey's Raincoat, but fell off sharply after that). As a novel it's hardly original, one of the 90's serial killer genre, it has Kenzie and Gennaro trying to catch a dismembering, stalking, really smart psycho who taunts them at every turn. It doesn't have the dark feel of Lehane's better work, it lacks the fresh wit of A Drink Before War, and the original everything of Shutter Island. That's not to say that it's a stupid book, it's smarter and rawer and more original than most, but he can do better. This book is for completists, the ones who have to read every book by a particular author.

2006-03-28T15:18:00.000-08:00

Inside Man

If they had pitched this as a TV movie, without the Denzel Washington/Jodie Foster/Clive Owen star-power, they would have had a hard time selling it. This is one of those that make for excellent trailers, (or maybe it's that Spike Lee movies make for good trailers, not really sure which) but not much more. I wasn't bored, but that was largely due to Denzel Washington's electric performance, pulling an entertaining character out of a nothing script. Jodie Foster hams away, as does Christopher Plummer. Clive Owen gives a decent little performance, like an up-and-comer trying to make his name inspite of the script, which he is. There isn't anything worthwhile here (apart from a pair of buxom women), nothing original, very little that is even mildly entertaining.

Spike Lee's message has been reduced to criticizing video games and mild, buried messages about NYPD bigotry. No I didn't miss the (yawn) subtext about American financial power and Nazi-Germany, my response is, so? Pretty much every financial empire on earth has been in bed with unsavory characters at one point or another. The pursuit of wealth necessitates ugliness. Rich men are pretty much always amoral, particularly men who make the acquisition of wealth their life's work. Nothing new there, Mr Lee.

As with all Spike Lee films, there are a few of those WTF moments, when something completely gratuitous/inappropriate/downright bizarre shows up in the screenplay. The latter love-scene with Denzel Washington's character and his girlfriend, the video game animation, the signature floating-down-the-street, shot, the stripping-down sequence.

Technorati Tags: Inside, Man, Denzel, Washington, Clive, Owen, Jodie, Foster, movies, movie, film, films, cinema, Spike, Lee, Joint, director, NYPD, Nazi, screenplay, actor

2006-03-26T11:54:00.000-08:00

V for Vendetta 2

The politics are wonky. I don't believe that the Bush Administration is conspiring to create a modern Fascist tyranny, not because I believe that they couldn't, but because it wouldn't be practical. It wouldn't serve a purpose. I believe that V, along with Michael Moore's products, is leftist Alarmism + sheer cynical capitalism. It's a convenient club that Democrats can use to beat their political opponents. That said, a lot of the legitimate, necessary steps to counter terrorism do look like fascism. Police-work, when it tries hard to neutralize law-breaking looks like fascism.

The problem is that for fascism truly to succeed, it can't look like it at first. The other problem is that the outside world really does hate and envy America. I say this as someone who has seen a lot of this hatred and envy first hand. So it's not like 9/11 was an anomaly, America faces real threats. That's what the loud lefties fail to address.

Law enforcement becomes more aggressive, more self-righteous, more power-hungry when it perceives a genuine danger, it also gets that way when it starts to have ambitions and delusions of grandeur. In other words, V for Vendetta could be a timely warning, but it's probably not.

Technorati Tags: V, for, Vendetta, movies, film, movie, films, Michael, Moore, Bush, Administration, fascism, fascist, police, politics, America, leftist, capitalism, entertainment, review,

2006-03-25T10:41:00.000-08:00

V for Vendetta 1

The first feeling I had when leaving the theater was that V had not been much of an action film. The trailers made it seem much more like an action-filled comicbook adventure than it had been, really. That doesn't mean that it wasn't good (Natalie Portman is definitely an asset), just that if you were expecting something light and shallowly exciting, you would be disappointed. The thing about V for Vendetta is that it's serious as a corrupt judge, or a egomaniacal dictator.

Setting it in the UK was a stroke of genius, rather than the concession to the Bush Administration that some of the films critics have made it out to be. If indeed it was motivated by cowardice, the Wachowskis' yellow streak is beautiful. John Hurt brings a panache to the role of the chancellor that only an Englishman could. Hugo Weaving steals the movie with simply the most brilliant piece of voice acting ever. He is so good, you never feel a need to see his face. Britain is the star of V, the gravitas, the absence of American naivete, it makes V that much more believable.

It's clear that this movie was not made with a Matrix-sized budget. It had the feel of Billy Zane's Phantom to it, a cheap movie pretending to be Batman. What saves it, is the message. However ridiculous might be it's basis, there is no question as to the earnestness of its exponents, the parallels of the film's UK to the present day USA are as obvious as a pile of shit on the dinner-table.

Technorati Tags: Hugo, Weaving, V, for, Vendetta, Wachowski, Brothers, Wachowskis, movie, movies, cinema, review, reviews, action, Natalie, Portman, actor, acting, politics, actors, UK, Britain, dictator, chancellor, John, Hurt, Billy, Zane, Phantom, Batman, Comic, comics, comicbooks, comic-books, Bush, Administration

2006-03-23T16:03:00.001-08:00

Saw V for Vendetta finally. First things first: Natalie Portman is beautiful. Too young for my taste, would have been even when I was her age, but dammit she is so nice to look at! And she has hips! The lines in her face and that wider butt have made her more womanly, so that in 10 or so years he might have a place in my er, fantasy-life. Also, her head is nicely shaped, fortunately. [Note that at 14 I was attracted to the same age-group I am now at 31, namely the 35-50's. I wonder if when I'm fifty, should I survive that long (I shudder to think), I will be attracted to 70 year-old women. Hell, some of them look good to me now. ]

Her accent-work is more than fine, it's Streepishly good. Her emotional range is a little bit underdeveloped. She doesn't hit distress as well as I wanted her to (like in the scene where she finds out that V decieved her), but she gets close enough to make me respect her acting. She doesn't do nuance very well. Her conversations with Stephen Fry could have been done better if she wasn't concentrating on her accent. I have a feeling she will get better about all of this though.

Technorati Tags: Natalie, Portman, V, for, Vendetta, acting, movie, movies, films, film, cinema, actor, actress, act, review, critique, performance, Meryl, Streep,

2006-03-23T16:03:00.000-08:00

2006-03-19T13:25:00.000-08:00

Charleston City Paper

The film critic in the Charleston City Paper writes that there are moments in The Hills Have Eyes where "new heights of imbecility must be scaled" by the characters in order to keep the plot going. Not really sure what he/she means exactly, and it's a capsule review so they don't have to explain what they mean.

On of the things that make the movie (or any movie, for that matter) entertaining is that there are no great leaps of imagination. It stays within the bounds of expected human behavior. The thing about movie critiquing is that when people (especially one's friends) start to talk in glowing terms about a movie, the instinct is to pan it. The solution is to not have any friends. Works for me.

2006-03-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

First Nude

I remember the first nude woman I ever saw onscreen. It was in a movie called Sidney Sheldon's The Other Side of Midnight. It was also the first "realistic" depiction of sex I had ever seen. I was about 8 years old. I remember thinking that that could not have been a woman because her breasts were so small. It wasn't exactly a sexual experience for me, just sort of a milepost.

The first nude woman I had ever seen other than my mother was an English friend of my mom's who had red hair. I remember being surprised that pubic hair also came in "red". I was about 5 at the time. I know hat this has nothing to do with movies. Allow me to digress for a minute, dammit.

2006-03-12T11:06:00.000-08:00

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Not usually a big fan of re-makes. In fact, I'm usually the snob who complains that the latest MTV-ized Hollywood teen version wasn't as good as the original. In the case of The Hills Have Eyes, I didn't see the original, in fact, the only thing I know about it is that it was the first movie to have the bad-guy's first-person POV. I have a hard time thinking it was as good or as intensely ugly as this one.

No, it's not an "enjoyable" movie, and if you aren't used to real onscreen violence, THHE will stick with you for days. It's considerably more ugly than Se7en or Saw. Take it from somebody who saw both of those. This however is as smart as each of those were. Alexander Aja did a fine job making a movie that was hard to watch without being flashy with it.

I'm not sure if the original had the same America-and-its-enemies subtext, don't see what the parallel would have been at that point. For those who have seen the remake: Note that the Republican is the one who gets them in trouble. Actually it's all the dogs's fault, but the Republican is the one who gets suckered in. The Democrat saves the day and the Christian gets eliminated early on.

Technorati Tags: The, Hills, Have, Eyes, Horror, America, Terrorism, American, movie, movies, films, film, cinema, Wes, Craven,

2006-03-12T11:05:00.000-08:00

The Hills Have Eyes Is Really About Terrorism

There is a sequence in The Hills Have Eyes wherein somebody gets stabbed through the back with an American flag. One of the bad guys. One of the products of US government nuclear experiments in the New Mexico desert the early 60's. This happens in a model-home, at a table of mannequins representing the American Family. The theme of America vs the enemies it has created is constantly rammed down the throats of the audience. The fact that the family travelling through the NM desert being politically mixed is also not accidental. The savagery of the enemies, the totally different value-systems, the softness of the victims. It's all a commentary, but if you have seen the movie you probably don't need to be told that.

America gets attacked and brutalized, and it's needs to toughen up and become more ruthless than it's enemies. It needs to do what needs to be done to survive. And, it will never stop having enemies.

Technorati Tags: The, Hills, Have, Eyes, Horror, America, Terrorism, American, movie, movies, films, film, cinema, Wes, Craven,

2006-03-12T11:03:00.000-08:00

The Hills Have Eyes
It's been a while since I saw a real horror movie at a theater. Am still somewhat traumatized. keep in mind that the last thing I saw like The Hills Have Eyes was Saw 2, and that wasn't even meant to be scary.

Summary:
Family on a road trip is terrorized by disfigured savages (mutated products of government nuclear tests) in the New Mexico desert.

In one graphic five-minute sequence, there is a likable man burned alive, a young girl raped, and the young mother of a baby shot. Oh, and I left a killing out so you don't think I want to spoil it entirely for you.

This is, for me, a real horror movie. It's brutal, and bloody, and merciless. It's also hopeless and dark if you take it literally. If you don't, it's a cautionary tale about America, it's past and it's future. It's still dark when you see the obvious (hammered-home) metaphor. I didn't like it, but then I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to be liked. It's done too well.

Ok, there are always you perverted assholes (I know a few of you) who will go to see a movie once they hear "rape-sequence". Let me burst your bubble: it's not in itself particularly graphic and it's only violent, nothing titillating.

Technorati Tags: The, Hills, Have, Eyes, Wes, Craven, movie, movies, cinema, film, films, horror, blood

Guaranteed Oscar Picks (Call your Bookie)

2006-03-05T04:23:00.000-08:00

My Oscar Picks:
Best Picture:
Munich

Best Actor:
Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line

Best Actress:
Felicity Huffman, Transamerica

Best Supporting Actor:
George Clooney, Syriana

Best Supporting Actress:
Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener

Best Achievement in Directing:
Steven Spielberg, Munich

Best Screenplay:
Crash, Paul Haggis, Robert Moresco

Technorati Tags: Felicity, Huffman, Oscar, Best, Actress, George, Clooney, Actor, Supporting, Role, Directing, Director, Achievement, Joaquin, Phoenix, Walk, the, Line

Fark, Trolls, and Snakes on a Plane

2006-03-04T01:15:00.000-08:00

If you bother reading though this Fark thread on Snakes on a Plane you will see that there a couple of what seem to be racial trolls. Pretending to troll is the best way to get out of being called a particular kind of asshole. What you do is dress up your argument in mildly absurd hyperbole and then people will wonder if you actually meant it or are just trying to get attention. Pedophiles, misogynists, antisemites, jingoists, and cowards from a variety of objectionable schools of thought use this tactic.

If you have such little faith in your ability to persuade, then why say anything? if you don't have the balls to fight for what you believe then why advertise that fact?

It's passive-aggressive. It's how you get out of confrontation you don't have the stomach for it. You feel you have accomplished something by merely stating your argument, even if your timidity says everything about the argument itself.

Snakes on a Plane is a fad that will die the minute it gets popular enough. It's the latest fat-kid-with-a-light-saber, lacking the eternal inherent fascinatingness of a tubgirl or goatse.

Technorati Tags: Samuel, L., Jackson, Snakes, On, a, Plane, Fark, Fark.com, troll, trolling, racist, racism, racial, movie, movies, cinema,

Swingers and Key Parties

2006-03-01T08:49:00.000-08:00

Inspired by the most depressing scene in a most depressing film (The Ice Storm), nerve.com has a key-party. That sequence in the movie made my skin crawl. If there is any set of people better suited to define the depths of human depravity than swingers. I don't mean your brow-beaten spouses (usually wives), I mean the gleeful, grinning, coldly lustful ones.

Technorati Tags: swingers, key, party, parties, The, Ice, Storm, Ang, Lee, movie, movies, adultery, swinging, sex

Oprah vs. Jonathan Franzen: Remembering The Ballsiest Act by a Contemporary American Novelist

2006-03-01T01:22:00.000-08:00

"She's picked some good books," Franzen said in an interview posted on Powells.com, "but she's picked enough schmaltzy, one-dimensional ones that I cringe, myself ..."

Impossible to imagine the woman who endorsed Bridges of Madison County, and her audience, enjoying any of Jonathan Franzen. Pretentious book-club bimbos ought to stick with work offering a veneer of thoughtfulness, by trendy authors. Mind you, I like that he got a sales boost out of the publicity. I realize that not ALL of her recommendations are bad, and I recognize that not ALL of her audience is witless, but witless women tend to follow her instructions as they would the dictates of a prophet. Oprah-fandom itself gives them the appearance of some sort of intelligence.

I got a kick out of Franzen's "apologies":
"To find myself being in the position of giving offense to someone who's a hero -- not a hero of mine per se, but a hero in general -- I feel bad," he told USA Today. (From here)

Technorati Tags: Jonathan, Franzen, Oprah, Winfrey, Oprah's, book, club, literature, books, bookclub, The, Corrections

Spike Lee

2006-02-27T06:37:00.000-08:00

Filmography

http://imdb.com/name/nm0000490/

(Spike Lee's latest movie stars this man.)

Interviews

http://www.well-rounded.com/movies/reviews/spike_intv.html

http://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2003/02/25/spike_lee_25th_hour_interview.shtml

Wiki

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spike_Lee

Reviews of His Better Films

Technorati Tags : Spike, Lee, Clockers, do, the, right, thing, movies, race, racism, cinema, movie, movies, film, films, controversial, controversy, racist, African, American, director, filmmaker., screenwriter, 40, acres, and, a, mule, joint, malcolm, x, denzel, washington, interview, interviews, crooklyn, black, biography, bio, filmography, the, inside, man, clive, owen, nation, of, islam, review, reviews, Shelton, New, York, Knicks, NBA, Madison, Square, Garden, Jodie, Foster

The Davinci Code (Again)

2006-02-27T05:41:00.000-08:00

Is the Roman Catholic Church up to it's old hijinks again? I smell a conspiracy!!!

Reading this makes me feel only contempt for the British Book Awards. If people read more they would know that A) all of the good ideas in this book were ripped off and definitely not new. B) Dan Brown can't write.

Over a $100 million for a piece of third-rate hackery that reads like a dentist's self-published hobby-novel. The world is doomed.

Technorati Tags : Dan, Brown, the, Davinci, code, novel, book, movie, movies, cinema, film, films, Roman, Catholic, religion, catholicism, fiction, religious, news, entertainment, tom, hanks

Clive Owen

2006-02-27T02:43:00.000-08:00

This is all you need to know about him.

Filmography

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0654110/

Galleries

http://www.allmoviephoto.com/c/CliveOwen.html
http://www.murphsplace.com/owen/picfiles/fanpics.html

Interviews

http://film.guardian.co.uk/interview/interviewpages/0,6737,1258447,00.html
http://www.ugo.com/channels/filmtv/features/beyondborders/cliveowen.asp
http://www.darkhorizons.com/news04/kinga1.php

Wiki

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clive+Owen

Technorati Tags : Clive, Owen, Sin, City, The, Inside, Man, bio, biography, filmography, actor, acting, movies, cinema, movie, fansite, fansites, actors

Uncivil Seasons, A Great American Novel

2006-02-26T02:11:00.000-08:00

Michael Malone, like so many smart, academically-gifted novelists, is good only for one shot. Caleb Carr comes to mind. If you have read any of the novels after that first blinding flash of talent, you will know what I mean. Uncivil Seasons is a fantastic American novel. In and of itself worthy of being given all of the kudos given to the all the works of the vastly over-rated Michael Chabon. Malone's subsequent work, however, like Carr's, is pathetic, with the general feel of something forced and fraudulent.

Uncivil Seasons is about a murder in a small North Carolina city. It's a Southern epic written in the format of a murder mystery. Malone constructs sentences like no other contemporary American writer, little tornadoes of wit and learning that demand to be read twice, they are that good. His characters are vivid and jump from the pages and speak their words to you, scenes are acted out before you. The whole novel is so precisely, lucidly written that reading it is like watching the movie adaptation of it.

Technorati Tags : Justin, cuddy, michael, malone, Hillston, Hillsborough, north, Carolina, caleb, carr, michael, chabon, uncivil, seasons, Mangum, novel, novels, fiction, writing, literature, books, book, story, epic, language, writer, author, writing, classic, Southern

White America's Buffoon is Dead

2006-02-25T15:59:00.000-08:00

Don Knotts what the white America's Amos and Andy, Chesterfield, and somebody from within the race to look down on, pretty much only because of how he looked . Jerry Lewis saw it and moved out of that kind of comedy, becoming an asshole in the process (even if he does help those kids).

What Don Knotts did all his career is capitalize on how the rest of the world sees him: weak and stupid. The dumb-jock part of us laughs at people who don't look as good as we do, aren't as tough, aren't as competent. It's how we feel better about our own cowardice. It's what made clowns funny to cruder people, and what makes slapstick funny.

It's the Roman-Arena part of us.

Of Jerry Lewis and Don Knotts, Knotts did the smarter thing. He stayed in the game, and rode what he had till he didn't look that much different from other old people and therefore wasn't as funny anymore. The thing is, we all kind of look the same in the end.

Technorati Tags : Don, knotts, amos, andy, and, chesterfield, jerry, lewis, movies, tv, television, apple, dumpling, gang, the, slapstick, movie, comedy, humor, funny

Stallone, WTF?

2006-02-24T19:03:00.000-08:00

I was just about to enter puberty when the sequel to First Blood came out. Rambo 2. I cannot remember ever wanting to see a movie more. I would watch through television commercial breaks hopeful of the opportunity to see a trailer. I remember staring at the screen rapt and frozen as they played the clip from the movie.I read reviews in magazines, and newspapers, delighted in anything good said about the movie. Watched any behind the scenes specials that came on and anything to do with Sylvester Stallone or his life. Indeed, to be young is to be stupid.

Rambo II, when I finally did get to see it a couple of years after it came out, was the first unedited grown up movie I had ever seen. I had nothing to compare it to except the musicals my mother made me watch with her (I remember more of My Fair Lady and The Sound of Music than any grown heterosexual man should), therefore I enjoyed it greatly.

I saw Rambo III a few days ago, or parts of it, anyway. Now I wonder how Sylvester Stallone ever became a successful actor let alone male icon of the 1980s. The best I can say for him is that he is a slightly better actor than Jean-Claude Van Damme. He, also, is quite odd-looking, nothing like what I would consider leading-man material. He does act, unlike the Van Dammes and the Seagals and the Norrises, he doesn't act well, but he does try. I am not sure if this effort is a good or a bad thing. When honest effort results in failure it is pathetic and laughable.

Technorati Tags : actor, acting, sylvester, stallone, movies, television, cable, rambo, 2, 3, steven, seagal, chuck, norris, films, 1980's, jean, claude, van, damme, trailer, movie, my, fair, lady, musical, musicals, the, sound, of, music

Book-to-Movie

2006-02-24T13:59:00.000-08:00

The very best book-to-screen adaptation is, and I suspect, always will be Lonesome Dove.Perfect casting through and through, holding exactly to the book. I would put To Kill a Mockingbird a little way behind this.

It's virtually impossible to compress a novel into a 120 minute screenplay without losing a lot, even when the book's writer does it himself. If you do it the wrong way you end up with a Cliff's Notes version, an idiot's highlight reel that is of no value to anyone who actually read the story.

The very best way is to cut the interior monologue and stick to scenes at actually take place in present of the story. You ask your readers for casting choices, who do they see playing this character?

What authors don't realize is that once a story is published, the don't own it anymore, the people who have read it and love it do.

Technorati Tags : lonesome, dove, tommy, lee, jones, robert, duvall, larry, macmurtry

More movies that haven't been released yet...

2006-02-23T13:21:00.000-08:00

More movies on their way down Hollywood's poop-chute (or should I say "poop-shoot", little filming pun for you there, thank me for the hearty chuckle later). See previous post for the first lot.

Drew Barrymore in Music and Lyrics. Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore play a song-lyricist and a performer who fall in love. Need I say that this is listed as a "romantic-comedy"? Probably directed by Nora Ephron or Meathead. So cute I could puke.

Nicholas Cage stars in Wicker Man, another Hollywood attempt to fuck up a classic. A sheriff investigates the disappearance of a young girl on a small island and finds dark pagan goings-on. It could be that this is to appease Catholics afraid of all the good press pagans will get as a result of the DaVinci Code.

Russell Crowe will star in A Good Year as an Englishman who inherits a property in France only to find that an American is also claiming it as hers. Ah, yes, those evil Americans can't keep their hands of other people's shit. There will likely be some political undertones, and lots of Yankee-bashing in this one.

Technorati Tags : hugh, grant, drew, barrymore, russell, crowe, nicholas, cage, wicker, man, a, good, year, movies, films, cinema, reviews, comedy, drama, romantic, horror

Soon to be Released

2006-02-23T03:14:00.000-08:00

None of the the movies below have been released yet, they are all in varied stages of post-production (test-marketing and second-thoughts). I have not seen any of them, but sometimes all you need is a 2 sentence synopsis to make up your mind.

Bruce Willis will star in a project named The Astronaut Farmer. It's about a retired astronaut who tries to build a rocket in his backyard.

This is the kind of insincere, "heartfelt Americana" that gives real Americana a bad name. Rocket of Dreams would me my choice for the title.

Owen Wilson will star in You, Me, and Dupree about a best man who overstays his welcome as an unwanted houseguest. Doesn't this sound just a little bit like the Wedding Crashers genre to you?

Brad Pitt stars in the assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. I want to see this one. Like most westerns it reads well in summary, possibly different in execution, but this should be pretty hard to fuck up so I'll say right now that it's worth watching.

Hilary Swank stars in The Reaping. In this one she plays a Christian missionary who loses her faith after her family is killed. It sounds depressing enough that she might get another Oscar nomination. Technorati

Tags : Bruce, Willis, astronaut, farmer, Owen, Wilson, You, me, Dupree, brad, pitt, assassination, jesse, james, coward, robert, ford, hilary, swank, reaping

A Drink Before War By Dennis Lehane

2006-02-22T12:43:00.000-08:00

A Drink Before War was Dennis Lehane's first novel, but it doesn't read like an attempt. It's clever and detailed, and honest, even if it's not original. It's your typical Philip Marlowe/Sam Spade detective novel, same format (PI gets hired to find something, and runs into varied, violent mishaps along the way) but written so well that you don't care. The crime genre will always be unoriginal, because crime will always be unoriginal for the most part, it's pretty much all stealing, drugs, or killing, isn't it? There isn't that much to say that has not been said, so we are left with the skill of writing. The telling of the story is what matters.

Think Robert Crais, only smart and serious as well as smartass. Lehane's Kenzie isn't that different from Elvis Cole, or Archie Goodwin, for that matter, but he's more real. Cole or Goodwin wouldn't actually say "nigger" for instance. Kenzie isn't a racist, but he has flashes of temper and makes mistakes, like a human. This novel manages to be funny without being "light", it manages to be violent while saying something with the violence. It's simultaneously cute and tough.

Technorati Tags : Book, novel, story, writing, literature, Robert, Crais, Elmore, Leonard, Rex, Stout, Dennis, Lehane, Kenzie, Gennaro, Boston, A, Drink, Before, War, Elvis, Cole, Archie, Goodwin, Sam, Spade, Philip, Marlowe, crime, fiction, detective, thriller, mystery, reading

Alicia Silverstone - With Then/Now Pics

2006-02-21T21:17:00.000-08:00

Known pimarily for her role in Clueless, Alicia Silverstone made her name as the poor man's Drew Barrymore, even if she was nowhere near as cute. She had the same kind of innocent, or semi-innocent charm, and was not unpleasant to look at. Her appeal was mainly with teenaged girls, unlike Ms Barrymore, who managed to be a sex-symbol as well as an airhead role-model. She is the exact female equivalent of Brendan Fraser in that both are short on talent, but both have a kind of appealing childlikeness to them (they appear together in this film), albeit one that grows thin as they show their respective ages.

Alicia Silverstone wiki entry.

Interesting:
"Silverstone reportedly refuses to appear nude in any of her movies. Because of this, she requires a body double in her place for nude scenes. When she starred in the stage version of The Graduate, she insisted on wearing underwear for the famous nude-scene. The producers were forced to let her do this because, otherwise, she would have resigned from the show."

"Silverstone was born in San Francisco, California, to Monty Silverstone, a British-born Jewish real-estate investor, and Didi Radford, a Scottish-born former flight attendant who converted to Judaism upon marrying Silverstone's father. "

Technorati tags:

pictures alicia silverstone clueless blast from the past Brendan fraser unfortunate bastard movies braceface tv television film entertainment movie drew barrymore

Blast From the Past

2006-02-21T15:19:00.000-08:00

Hollywood has always cannibalized itself, this is nothing new, even if something is not labelled as a "remake, it probably is. At least some other movie at some other time had a similar story. Again, none of this is new (it's done in all art-forms, you say you were "influenced"), but it bears re-stating since occasionally these cannibalisms are clever and somewhat interesting. Blast From the past is one such instance. What it really is is a re-hashing/reversal of the first Back to the Future movie. The "Marty McFly" character played by Brendan Fraser finds himself out of place in the modern world (well, 1999) just as Michael J. Fox's character found himself out of place in fifties.

Christopher Walken, as the dad who locks himself and his pregnant wife in a nuclear bunker at the start of the Cuban Missile Crisis, is slightly less twitchy than normal, but still handles the part enthusiastically. Sissy Spacek gives the best, smartest performance of the movie, as the slightly scatterbrained mom. Brendan Fraser plays his part the same way he plays all his comedic parts: with no real thought. He plays comedy like an actor who wants other roles but has been thoroughly typecast. Alicia Silverstone, who has also been typecast, is slightly more game.

The overall effect is still nice enough. It makes you laugh and it makes you want to keep watching, so yes, I recommend it. Fraser can't dance worth shit, but the sequence is still entertaining. This movie has a really good soundtrack, good enough to make it onto my favorite soundtracks list, but unfortunately, most of the good songs weren't included on the official compilation cd, you will have to download them yourself.

blast from the past christopher walken brendan fraser sissy spacek alicia silverstone back to future movie movies films television recommend critique critic entertainment cable comedy perry como soundtrack film tv

Back To the Future

2006-02-21T12:56:00.000-08:00

The Back to the Future movies were/are really popular only with the relatively smart. Geeks. While there are enough quick cuts, slapstick and action to satisfy the lower brows, they don't get how clever the movies are. Well, the latter two, anyway.

The first of the set was a teen movie, no question, not particularly bright and it doesn't age as well as the other two. It's ok, the Delorean was a cute idea, and Michael J. Fox is the only person who could have played Marty McFly (teen frustration and air-headedness personified), so yes, the casting was good. Christopher Lloyd, as always was thorough and intense and very funny as Doc Brown, even when the script doesn't give him anything funny. It's sweet and nostalgic for those of us who saw it as children in the eighties. Note: In 1999 the BTTF formula was reversed and tried as Blast From the Past with Brendan Fraser who was being thrown into the innocent-grown-up-child roles left vacant by Fox. In Blast From the Past Fraser plays (essentially) a man who grew up in the early fifties/sixties transported to the nineties. Excellent score.

Back to the Future 2, however, is where director Robert Zemeckis and writer Bob Gale come into their own. More on that here.

Technorati tags:
Robert Zemeckis back to the future michael j. Fox movies television cable bob gale brendan Fraser comedy science fiction sci fi sci-fi Christopher Lloyd elizabeth shue macfly marty doc brown

Back to the Future 2

2006-02-21T12:50:00.000-08:00

The first Back the the Future was a teen movie, but the second was for grown ups. Layering it over the original, was a stroke of genius, both in the idea and in the execution, and all three movies are excellent science fiction to boot! Back to the Future 2 was slightly darker than either of the other two, but had more punch as well. Robert Zemeckis knows how to direct adrenaline-powered comic action like nobody else. He has all the subtlety and judgment of Spielberg with little bit more of a sense of humor. Thomas F. Wilson came into his role as Movie-Bully Icon. Didn't ever let a critic tell you that a one-dimensional character can't be played well. Biff, the white-trash high-school sadist has absolutely nothing redeeming about his character, and yet he almost steals this movie from Fox. Doc Brown's quirks and twitches are enhanced from the first movie and make him even more hilarious to watch ("Great Scott!").

Technorati tags:
Anthony Michael Hall back to the future two Robert Zemeckis michael j. Fox movies television cable bob gale brendan Fraser comedy science fiction sci fi sci-fi Christopher Lloyd elisabeth shue sequel

Back To the Future

2006-02-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

The Back to the Future movies were/are really popular only with the relatively smart. Geeks. While there are enough quick cuts, slapstick and action to satisfy the lower brows, they don't get how clever the movies are. Well, the latter two, anyway.

The first of the set was a teen movie, no question, not particularly bright and it doesn't age as well as the other two. It's ok, the Delorean was a cute idea, and Michael J. Fox is the only person who could have played Marty McFly (teen frustration and air-headedness personified), so yes, the casting was good. Christopher Lloyd, as always was thorough and intense and very funny as Doc Brown, even when the script doesn't give him anything funny. It's sweet and nostalgic for those of us who saw it as children in the eighties. Note: In 1999 the BTTF formula was reversed and tried as Blast From the Past with Brendan Fraser who was being thrown into the innocent-grown-up-child roles left vacant by Fox. In Blast From the Past Fraser plays (essentially) a man who grew up in the early fifties/sixties transported to the nineties. Excellent score.

Technorati tags:
Robert Zemeckis back to the future michael j. Fox movies television cable bob gale brendan Fraser comedy science fiction sci fi sci-fi Christopher Lloyd elizabeth shue macfly marty doc brown

Pagan Babies By Elmore Leonard

2006-02-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

Plot summary:
Father Terry Dunn returns to Detroit from Rwanda where he had a church and where he witnessed the genocide of Tutsis by Hutus. He hooks up with an ex-con who used to be a private investigator for his lawyer-brother, and who wants revenge for being wronged by her ex-boyfriend.

Elmore Leonard's Pagan Babies is unlike his usual work in that I finished it and was disappointed. His main character was more than the usual cocky asshole protagonist that appears in all of his books. This character struck me a a genuinely bad person, not just a guy playing the angles. Maybe it was the whole bizarre Rwanda aspect to the story, or, perhaps, in part, it was how the relationship between Terry Dunn and Debbie worked out that left the bad taste in my mouth, but mostly it was Dunn himself.

Being a cynic myself, I like that Leonard's books don't have the usual morals. The fact that the heroes are borderline sociopaths makes for unexpected twists, and there are many in this book, just nobody to like.

Technorati tags:
elmore leonard pagan babies terry dunn detroit rwanda genocide hutus tutsis

Complete Angelina Jolie Resource

2006-02-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

Angelina Jolie's Internet Movie Database page
Askmen.com resource on Angeline Jolie
Angelina Jolie Wallpaper
Angelina Jolie Gallery (SFW)

From Wiki entry:
"Angelina Jolie was born in Los Angeles, California, to actors Jon Voight and Marcheline Bertrand. She is the niece of Chip Taylor and the goddaughter of Jacqueline Bisset and Maximilian Schell. She is also the sister of James Haven. In a 2004 article in Vogue she stated that her mother is from Chicago. At the Premiere Magazine "Women in Hollywood" Awards she said her mom was born in a bowling alley and has stated that because of her name people often assume that her mother is French. Jolie's grandparents were French Canadian. Her paternal grandfather was from Czechoslovakia. Her mother also studied with Lee Strasberg. She is of Czech, French Canadian, English, and Iroquois descent. As a teenager, Jolie dreamed of becoming a funeral director.[1] She attended the Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute from the age of 11, later attending Beverly Hills High School. Though she enrolled at the film school at New York University after finishing Gia, she did not complete her studies."

Angelina Jolie News
Long-ass article on Jolie's relationships
Another Jolie Gallery (NSFW)
Still Another Jolie Gallery

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In other news:
Brokeback Mountain gets 4 British Academy Awards

King Kong and the Theories

2006-02-18T19:33:00.000-08:00

I've heard all kinds of theories about this movie, it's thought to be racist, for instance. Possibly (with the islanders, not the monkey), but I don't see it. This blogger thinks it's about gay marriage (he could be joking). Again, I don't see it. It could be tract on the righteousness of bestiality, or a normal person's love for retarded people, but I doubt it. You could formulate a 9/11 theory with the tall buildings and planes and people sceaming, but it would be a stretch.There is nothing notable about this latest version of King Kong at all, except for the opulence of the production. If you watch a lot of movies that's the first thing to get your attention with these Hollywood blockbusters: production values. It's striking to see big pictures and really good special effects.

Peter Jackson hits the high notes, he gives us a quick version of early 20th century New York night-life and some good dinosaur-ape fights. He gives us the super-cute, super-vulnerable Naomi Watts to look at, and a few chuckles to make us feel "entertained", but there's not much to the movie beyond that. King Kong is all budget and pretty colors.

Technorati tags: naomi watts jack black king kong peter jackson conspiracy theories racism bestiality racial monkey-love

Grossness and Brokeback

2006-02-17T21:03:00.000-08:00

The comments at the bottom of this article on Brokeback Mountain have me confused. They are so way over the top that I have a suspicion that they were put their by anti-homsexuals to discredit the gay community. There is nothing at all wrong with what Bill Wundram wrote, and yet he is being flamed for not feeling comfortable with the sight of two guys kissing. The fact is that if you are a straight man then the idea (let alone actually seeing it) Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal kissing is disgusting. If these comments were to betaken seriously you would get the idea that being heterosexual and having heterosexual tastes is something that should be apologized for. The ridiculous sense of outrage at a relatively mild anecdote is almost comical.

Technorati Tags : homosexuality, gayness, brokeback, mountain, heath, ledger

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Ice Cube Sells Out

2006-02-17T16:51:00.000-08:00

"Cube’s music was so affecting because it relentlessly questioned the sacred American themes of equality, opportunity, and progress. His most significant tracks were those that graphically detailed the manifold ways in which American society has failed to deliver on its oft-referenced ideals, particularly where young African-American men are concerned."
http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=511342

This article reminds us that everybody, and I mean everybody, has their price. Artists (even though I don't that anybody would have regarded Ice Cube as such) live to sell out. The shift from badass to Cosby has been gradual enough that we barely noticed, so that Ice Cube still has credibility in some circles, even if he shouldn't, really. He now has an image to uphold. The man who made Amerikkka's Most Wanted now has to be kid-friendly. It amounts to a bribing of radical leaders, it's as if Malcolm X or David Duke sold out to the highest bidder and started doing Pepsi commercials. Like or not America needs radical voices, on all sides, it's what makes America America. It's what separates the USA from the rest of the world.

Technorati Tags : ice, cube, amerikkka's, most, wanted, Cosby, David, Duke, Malcolm, x, radical, Boyz, in, the, hood, Bill, south, central, los, angeles, john, singleton, pepsi, Mr, Blanding's, niggas, with, attitude, NWA, straight, outta, compton, hiphop, rap, music, African, American, Builds, His, Dream, House, gangsta, police, Tupac, biggie, eminem, marshall, mathers

Denise Richards Neve Campbell in Wild Things 2

2006-02-17T15:17:00.000-08:00

"Denise Richards and Neve Campbell are set to re-team for yet another steamy romp in the newest installment of hit film Wild Things, according to a published report."

Wow. This is like a comedy skit about Hollywood has-beens. The first one was ok, but nothing more, this is just about making a little money and reviving dormant careers. Neve is hot, but apparantly a bitch in real life, ergo I no longer like her. Just so you know.

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Halle Berry Celebrates Black History Month

2006-02-17T02:25:00.000-08:00

I was trying to remember exactly why I never liked her...

http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=842

Technorati Tags : halle, berry, catwoman, black, history, month

Aeon Flux

2006-02-16T16:23:00.000-08:00

Google Aeon Flux and you will find a few links that take you to sites about the movie, a few to sites about the MTV show, but mostly you will find usernames. There are a lot of people who have "Aeonflux" as their username. I mean a lot.

This tells you how lame and unimaginative the fans of this character are. This tells you how lame and unimaginative a character this "Aeon Flux" girl is. This tells you how lame and unimaginative the movie is. For the tedious herds of sheep that think this is cool I strongly suggest that you read a book. I know, all those little words on the page there are so many of them! But you will find that it actually exposes to new things, maybe a few original ideas, it might even get you to think(!).

The fact is that this movie was made by people who think that they are being clever and original. You can see their little imaginations working hard at their "new ideas". You can see how smart they think they are being. Of course, there is nothing new here, post-apocalyptic societies and cloning are only interesting sci-fi concepts if you are a semi-literate 12 year-old girl. The violence is PG-13 at best, the acting minor, and Charlize Theron is showing her age. Were you to have taken an AK-47 and mowed down a line of theater-goers queueing to see this movie humanity would not have suffered for it.

Below is a selection of works from the man the "new ideas" in this movie were stolen from:

Charlize Theron	....	Aeon Flux
Marton Csokas	....	Trevor Goodchild
Jonny Lee Miller	....	Oren Goodchild
Sophie Okonedo	....	Sithandra
Frances McDormand	....	Handler
Pete Postlethwaite	....	Keeper
Amelia Warner	....	Una Flux
Caroline Chikezie	....	Freya
Nikolai Kinski	....	Claudius
Paterson Joseph	....	Giroux
Yangzom Brauen	....	Inari
Aoibheann O'Hara	....	Scientist
Thomas Huber	....	Scientist
Weijian Liu	....	Scientist
Maverick Queck	....	Chemist (as Maverick Quek)
(more)

Technorati Tags : Charlize, Theron, aeonflux, Frances, McDormand, Pete, Postlethwaite, Karyn, Kusama, Matt, Manfredi, Phil, Hay, science-fiction, sci-fi, Philip, Dick, graphic, novel, animated, series, anime, Trevor, Goochild, una, flux, sithandra, cloning, post-apocalyptic, pg-13, mtv, aeon

Al Pacino for the Money

2006-02-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

Another wild, overbearing performance from Mr Pacino. McConaughey is an ex-quarterback with a bad knee who takes a job with Pacino's sports betting service. Think Wall Street, at least that's what Two for the Money is trying hard to be. It doesn't even manage to be Cocktail. More mentor/grasshopper Hollywood crap. Karate Kid, only with gambling. Rene Russo looking even more equine than ever. The script is boring, does nothing new, nothing shocking, nothing interesting. Performances are average, average for Pacino being, of course, that he has to bellow everything. It's like he's not even trying to restrain himself or to think about the role anymore, he just yells and makes these random, scary faces that may or may not have to do with what he's saying. I was thinking that this might just be a jaded actor in old-age, but even in the Godfather movies he was overbearing. Think of Don Corleone sitting down and crossing his legs, adjusting himself so as not to wrinkle his suit. Even that was theatrically intense.

Al Pacino .... Walter Abrams

Matthew McConaughey .... Brandon Lang

Rene Russo .... Toni Morrow

Armand Assante .... Novian

Jeremy Piven .... Jerry

Jaime King .... Alexandria

Kevin Chapman .... Southie

Ralph Garman .... Reggie

Gedde Watanabe .... Milton

Carly Pope .... Tammy

Charles Carroll .... Chuck

Gerard Plunkett .... Herbie

Craig Veroni .... Amir

James Kirk .... Denny

Technorati Tags : al, pacino, two, for, the, money, movies, corleone, godfather, heat, sports, betting, gambling, jeremy, piven, rene, russo, kevin, spacey

Elmore Leonard on How to Write Good

2006-02-15T21:05:00.000-08:00

"These are rules I’ve picked up along the way to help me remain invisible when I’m writing a book, to help me show rather than tell what’s taking place in the story. If you have a facility for language and imagery and the sound of your voice pleases you, invisibility is not what you are after, and you can skip the rules. Still, you might look them over."

That's from this page where Elmore Leonard tells you about good writing. The problem is that Elmore Leonard, while often brilliant, is also seriously inconsistent. He also has a strong tendency to rehash and recycle. Mr Paradise draws heavily from Out of Sight, for instance. This recycling is opposite of remaining "invisible". It's as if he has to remind you that he wrote that too, and that, and that...

"Never open a book with weather. If it’s only to create atmosphere, and not a character’s reaction to the weather, you don’t want to go on too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people."

What kind of airhead/asshole reader does this? I've never leafed ahead in a book. I've walked away from some (meaning at the time to come back), but never leafed ahead. What would be the point? If youcare about the story and the characters enough to want to know what happens to them, why not just keeping plodding?

"Never use a verb other than 'said' to carry dialogue."

Yelled? Screamed? Yes, that can be part of dialogue too IMO.

"Keep your exclamation points under control."

True!

Elmore Leonard Filmography:

Tishomingo Blues (2005) (pre-production) (novel)

Killshot (2006) (post-production) (novel)

Be Cool (2005) (novel)

The Big Bounce (2004) (novel)

"Karen Sisco" (characters)
- Blown Away (2003) TV Episode (story)

"Maximum Bob" (1998) TV Series (novel)

Out of Sight (1998) (novel)

Jackie Brown (1997) (novel Rum Punch)

Gold Coast (1997) (TV) (novel)
... aka Elmore Leonard's Gold Coast

Pronto (1997) (TV) (book)

Touch (1997/I) (novel)

Last Stand at Saber River (1997) (TV) (novel)

Get Shorty (1995) (novel)

Split Images (1992) (TV) (novel)

Border Shootout (1990) (novel)

Desperado: Badlands Justice (1989) (TV) (creator)

Cat Chaser (1989) (novel) (screenplay)

Law at Randado (1989) (TV) (book)

Desperado: The Outlaw Wars (1989) (TV) (creator)

Glitz (1988) (TV) (novel)

The Rosary Murders (1987)

Desperado (1987) (TV) (written by)

52 Pick-Up (1986) (novel)

Stick (1985) (novel)

The Ambassador (1984) (novel 52 Pick-Up)
... aka Peacemaker

High Noon, Part II: The Return of Will Kane (1980) (TV)
... aka High Noon, Part II (USA: video title)
... aka The Return of Will Kane (USA: video title)

Mr. Majestyk (1974) (written by)

Joe Kidd (1972) (written by)
... aka Joe Kidd (USA)

Valdez Is Coming (1971) (novel)

The Moonshine War (1970) (also novel)

The Big Bounce (1969) (novel)

Hombre (1967) (novel)

3:10 to Yuma (1957) (story)

The Tall T (1957) (story)

Technorati Tags : elmore, leonard, get, shorty, bounce, john, travolta, maximum, bob, crime, fiction, fiction, writing, reading, novels, story, books, dutch, author, Mr, Paradise, Out, of, Sight

Black Actresses Before and After Air-brushing

2006-02-15T13:48:00.000-08:00

Halle looks like one of the hookers around here in that untouched one. Seriously average, which is what I have always said. You know, I could do better than her if I was rich and handsome.

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Viveca looks like she's been hitting the pipe a little hard lately. Or maybe it's just the weight-loss thing, she was always more healthy looking when she had some ass on her.

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Apart from the weed-eyes, she looks pretty much the same. She is one of those cute, but oddly non-sexual black women (like Queen Latifah). I'll bet we hear that she's a lesbian sometime in the future, both her and Latifah.

Pics from here.

Technorati Tags : Alicia, Keyes, Halle, Berry, Viveca, A., Fox, pics, pictures, photos, celebrity, pics, celebrity, photos, airbrush, fugly, crackwhore, stank, skank

Tom Cruise Flips Out Again

2006-02-15T11:44:00.000-08:00

"The star once known for his cool composure has surprised observers with outbursts in recent months. Now come reports that the Top Gun was acting rather bizarrely at a Kanye West concert at L.A.’s Avalon recently.

The Mission Impossible star dangled off a nine-foot-high balcony at the concert, according to the new issue of In Touch Weekly. He then complained All these people are making me crazy. It’s too much!’ and, as onlookers gasped in disbelief he climbed up cables to get away from the crowds. The account adds details to a report that first appeared in the New York Post."

Here's my own conspiracy theory: Tom Cruise has discovered dark goings on at the Church of Scientology and is acting to discredit the religion. He can't do so openly for fear of being assassinated, so he has decided to sacrifice his image, and thus his career to bring down the church. Good?

Technorati Tags : Tom, Cruise, Kanye, West, Nicole, Kidman, Top, Gun, Mission, Impossible, Maverick, scientology

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The 80's are Back

2006-02-15T09:59:00.000-08:00

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are to team up for a new action movie.

A day late and a dollar short, but I would probably watch it. Oh, and Michael Bay and Co. are making a new Friday the 13th movie. <sarcasm>Yay</sarcasm>.

Technorati Tags : stallone, sylvester, arnold, schwarzenegger, rambo, commando, terminator, rocky, movies, dvd, 1989, 1988, 1987, 1986, Hollywood, movies, videos, geriatric

The Wachowski Brothers and Liberal Extremism.

2006-02-15T01:53:00.000-08:00

One character says "blowing up a building can change the world", while another is arrested for having a Koran hidden at home. The film's tagline is: "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."

Somebody's trying to steal Michael Moore's audience-base. This is more of the supposed-hipness of hating those in charge.

So how do you differentiate between bitter, liberal scare-propaganda and what might be genuine insight? You read and you think. Somehow, I think the Wachowski's may be asking too much of their usual audience.

Technorati Tags : movies, dvd, matrix, keanu, reeves, wachowskis, vendetta, natalie, portman

Dave Chappelle and Genius

2006-02-13T15:58:00.000-08:00

Things I didn't know about Dave Chappelle:
His father William was a professor of voice and music at Antioch College.
He maintains a farm in Yellow Springs, Ohio.
He is "good friends" with Mario Cantone.

Essay/Editorial: Chappelle is brilliant, but it's not the same kind of brilliance as, say, that of Richard Pryor. Pryor was one-of-a-kind, Chappelle is not, though he is better than the rest of his kind. Pryor's comedy was nuanced and subtle, with layers for the dumbasses who can get only coarse, physical humor, and layers for the smarter people who knew what he was really saying. Chappelle's work isn't layered like that, not yet, anyway. Also, you get the feeling that half of the jokes he's done will be dated as hell in 10 years time. That said, he does touch subjects no one else has the balls to touch. He manages to make funny, that which shouldn't be funny, and there is where he makes the comparison with Pryor. Only a certain kind of talent can make certain subjects humorous, can see what's so funny about white supremacists. It's one of those things that work as an intellectual class separator. Dark humor (no pun intended) has a way of marking out the stupid among us.

Chappelle Filmography:
"Wanda at Large"
"Chappelle's Show" (2003)
"Crank Yankers"
Undercover Brother (2002)
Screwed (2000)
Blue Streak (1999)
200 Cigarettes (1999)
You've Got Mail (1998)
Woo (1998)
Half Baked (1998)
The Real Blonde (1997)
"Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist"
Con Air (1997)
Damn Whitey (1997)
Bowl of Pork (1997)
Joe's Apartment (1996)
The Nutty Professor (1996)
"Buddies" (1996)
"Home Improvement"
Getting In (1994)
Undercover Blues (1993)
Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Technorati Tags : Dave, Chappelle, Chappelle, comedy, central, Chappelle's, Show, Stand-up, Oprah, Half-Baked, Menthols, Newports, Comedy, Comedian

Peter Sellers, The Pink Panther Movies, and the Slate's New Film Critic

2006-02-12T19:46:00.000-08:00

"Not, mind you, because the original films are any good with the partial exception of the first one, The Pink Panther (1963), they hold up poorly to a second viewing. Blake Edwards is a clumsy, unintuitive director, and seen now, the old Panther movies feel leadenly paced, depressingly cynical, and full of disquieting racial and sexual stereotypes."

Without knowing anything about The Slate's new film critic Dana Stevens (taking Edelstein's place, apparently) let me hazard the guess that she is a girl. By "girl" I mean a female younger than me, and the word is meant entirely in the most sexist and derogatory sense. Her critiques are verbose and juvenile, revealing only that Ms Steven is an immature American brat ("American" not being an insult, I'm just telling you the nature of her brattishness). Yes, my assessment of her as a writer might seem personal and excessive, but for some reason I find her work offensive. Maybe we've met, but that's unlikely. It has a little to do with why I disagree with her on the subject of the Pink Panther movies. I think that her opinions have to do with her generation, and it's general arrogance and poor taste. Mind you, she is right about Peter Sellers being a genius, but not about much else.

Pink Panther Movies (The ones with Sellers in them, none of the others are worth seeing):
The Pink Panther (1963)
A Shot in the Dark (1964)
The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)

aka "The Pink Panther Strikes Back" - USA (working title)
The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)

Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978)
aka "The Curse of the Pink Panther" - USA (working title)

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The Whitechapel Murders: Jack the Ripper

2006-02-11T19:04:00.000-08:00

The Whitechapel Murders began during the second half of 1888. The murderer, who later became known as Jack the Ripper, was never caught, and his identity continues to be the subject of much study and speculation by so-called "Ripperologists".

The victims where always prostitutes, and the murders savage, including, but not limited to, abdominal mutilations wherein various internal organs were removed. Whether or not the victims were murdered prior to those mutiliations is not known, but it is thought by some forensic experts that they were strangled before being cut open.

All of the Whitechapel Murders were perpetrated at night.

The Victims of Jack the Ripper

Below are the names of those women believed by most Ripperologists to have been victims of Jack.

1) Mary Ann Nichols, (maiden name Mary Ann Walker, nicknamed "Polly"), killed on Friday, August 31, 1888.

2) Annie Chapman, (maiden name Eliza Ann Smith, nicknamed "Dark Annie"), killed on Saturday, September 8, 1888.

3) Elizabeth Stride, (maiden name Elisabeth Gustafsdotter, nicknamed "Long Liz"), killed on Sunday, September 30, 1888.

4) Catherine Eddowes, (used the aliases "Kate Conway" and "Mary Ann Kelly," from the surnames of her two common-law husbands Thomas Conway and John Kelly), killed on Sunday, September 30, 1888.

5) Mary Jane Kelly, (called herself "Marie Jeanette Kelly" after a trip to Paris, nicknamed "Ginger"), killed on Friday, November 9, 1888.

(This list was culled from the notes of Sir Melville Macnaghten who was Chief Constable of the Metropolitan Police Service Criminal Investigation Department in 1894.)

For a detailed and unique essay on Jack the Ripper, contact me at jebric_(aT)_fastmail_dot_fm.

Technorati Tags : jack, the, ripper, serial, killer, homicide, murder, whitechapel, mystery, london, ripperologists, forensics, forensic, science

Dark Water & The Ring 2

2006-02-11T02:08:00.000-08:00

Dark Water and the Ring 2 are the same movie, written by the same Japanese hack. What the fuck is it with these drowned white/Japanese girls? Or, better yet, what the fuck is it with these movie producers? I know it's good business sense, aiming for the lowest common denominator and all that, but I could have seen one of either of these movies and saved money and time.

They are both empty movies, meaning nothing much happens. Long empty stretches of film where you wait. This is called "building suspense" and it only works in the theater. On DVD you fast forward till you see something jump out at somebody or appear out of nowhere, something ugly usually. Give Dark Water credit for not having some overblown CGI character ripping off the The Exorcist walking on the ceiling or whatever, but both movies have the same audience: young hysterical women who have never seen a real horror movie. Young hysterical women of both sexes.

Truth is, for either one of these movies to actually scare you, or any movie out of Hollywood now, you have to be already emotionally overwrought.

Dark Water is about a recently-divorced mother (Jennifer Connelly) who moves into an apartment with her daughter, and they are haunted by the little girl who used to live in the apartment directly above them. The Ring 2 has the incredibly hot Naomi Watts and that girl from the well, only now she doesn't need you to watch the video to come after you. Oh, and it has, and a little boy.

It's hard to make a scary movie. I mean, seriously hard. It takes originality across the board, and a back story that you can only hint at. It takes a ghost that is badder than anything you can show with an R rating. You need (still-living) human characters that you know, even if you don't care about them. It needs a new gimmick, wet girls with their back to you is old.

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Kung Fu Hustle

2006-02-10T01:34:00.000-08:00

My guess is that Kung Fu Hustle has already found it's audience, but then so has every other movie I write about. All I can say is if you haven't seen it, do. If you have ever laughed at a Chuck Jones Road Runner cartoon or at a Peter Sellers Pink Panther movie, then you will enjoy it. It's the same family of wit. It's a comedy that actually transcends a cultural barrier, the rarest thing in movie-dom. Jaded as I am, it's rare that I actually hear or see a joke that I haven't seen before, this is why people like me enjoyed The Chappelle Show. Kung Fu Hustle hits you from fresh angles and you actually get to laugh from something other than obligation.

The Fog

2006-02-09T05:23:00.000-08:00

You might like The Fog is you have never read an actual ghost story, or, better yet, never read anything at all. There is nothing scary or "haunting" or original here. The "horror" is all cheap and cartoony special effects. Ghost fog rolls in on modern American island town, with ghost ship attached. If that description gave you chills, watch the movie, if not, don't waste your time.

You might be able to read some kind of allegory into it about the shit you do in this life biting your descendants in the ass. I won't bother. This is a movie for the short-bus people.

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Fiction in Real Life

2006-02-08T08:03:00.000-08:00

The reason you cannot write really realistic fiction is that there is nothing that you can call "reality". People are complicated even when they are imbeciles, or at least their lives are. Every day something happens that "could" have happened differently. Every day of your life, there are details that you miss, that you are too stupid to pick up right away. Your life as it plays is too boring, and too bizarre to write.

Technorati Tags : fiction, stories, essay, nonfiction, stupid, creative, journal, memoirs, diary

Fun with Dick and Jane

2006-02-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

Fun With Dick and Jane from an article I read somewhere, was one of those horror story productions (I'm drunk so no link, but it was on slate.com, I think). It took forever to get made, and the lead actresses kept bailing. Of course, I mean the remake with Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni, not the original with Jane Fonda and George Segal. The problem is with the idea first, it needs chemistry and wit to work. You need to like Dick and Jane. Dick and Jane need to be smart and nuanced characters. Second is with the casting. There isn't much more than mild cuteness to Leoni (she has no ass and no talent), and Carrey is capable of playing only one character (with very slight variations). Third is that it can't be political, the plot is too weak. They should have cast the screenplay differently and left the social commentary out.

My alternative cast:
Sam Rockwell and Cameron DiazI would keep Alec Baldwin, who did a better job than this movie deserved.

This was an idea to comment on Enron, and there is nothing funny about that. There is also nothing funny about millionaire actors pretending to be poor. You never lose sight of the fact that Jim Carrey makes $20 Million per film.

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X-Files Sequel

2006-02-04T06:08:00.000-08:00

Gillian Anderson, who currently lives in London, recently talked with Newsday about her career and another X-FILES film.

In regards to sequel, Anderson said, "Eventually there will be, we hope there is going to be."

The first one went out of it's way to cater to the people who had never seen the film, as well as to play to the most boring subplot, namely, Mulder's who conspiracy thing with the smoking man. What is needed is a smart, well-written single episode with paranormal phenomenon. Enough people miss how the TV series used to be to make it worthwhile. But then again, I'm saying exactly nothing new here, most people feel this way.

Anderson says elsewhere in the interview that they need to do it quickly because in a little while no one will give a shit. What she really means is that her hotness will diminish. That was one of the reasons the show was as big as it was.

lavalife.com: Find a date online now!

Turkish Movie Demonizes America

2006-02-02T23:41:00.000-08:00

From this article on a Turkish movie demonizing the USA:

One recent opinion poll revealed the depth of the hostility in Turkey toward Americans: 53 percent of Turks who responded to the 2005 Pew Global Attitudes survey associated Americans with the word "rude"; 70 percent with "violent"; 68 percent with "greedy"; and 57 percent with "immoral."

Take out "greedy" and you have the words I associate with Islamic countries. Human hypocrisy fascinates me. These people with their PMS-religion and their cheesy culture write cheap melodrama to make up for an inability to compete. What can you say about a culture whose only means of getting attention is to commit suicide? Their Cinema is as worthless as the two (western) has-beens they got to appear in this movie.

Technorati Tags : islam, terrorism, suicide, films, movie, movies, billy, zane, gary, busey, turkey, metal, storm, valley, of, the, wolves, iraq, turks, America, USA, war

Best First Lines

2006-02-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

100 Best First Lines from Novels

Technorati Tags : books, classics, literature, fiction, pynchon, thomas, moby, dick, english, dickens, lolita

Harlequin Aims at NASCAR Fans

2006-02-01T15:15:00.000-08:00

Harlequin to Publish Nascar Themed Novels

"If it's true that opposites attract, then a licensing agreement between Harlequin Romance novels and NASCAR Inc., should be a marriage made in heaven. The first offspring of this new union, a racetrack romance entitled In the Groove by Pamela Britton, goes on sale Tuesday — just a few weeks before the Daytona 500 on Feb. 19. Two other NASCAR-themed love stories will be published this year: On the Edge by Britton in September and A NASCAR Holiday by Kimberly Raye, Roxanne St. Claire and Debra Webb in November."

A million comments about unemployed women in trailer parks come to me. You can feel the noxious stupidity radiating from these books even before they are published. You know these people, these shrill, dense airheads in their short-shorts standing in the checkout line in Walmart.

Technorati Tags : harlequin, romance, novels, stories, fiction, nascar, racing, daytona, 500, Kimberly, Raye, Roxanne, St, Claire, Debra, Webb

Rick Moranis' Album nominated for Grammy

2006-02-01T08:27:00.000-08:00

"After nearly a decade-long self-imposed hiatus from major screenwork, funnyman Rick Moranis has unintentionally launched a side career as a singer. Since its release last fall, his offbeat country album has taken off, earning major label support and a Grammy nomination to boot."

From:
http://www.canada.com/topics/entertainment/story.html?id=758d4958-3d0c-4bd9-8abd-5fb20f443b91&k=11139

Maybe he's moving beyond the geek stereotype. For his entire career, Moranis has been prime example of casting-based-solely-on-appearance, particularly unattractive appearance. He took the mantle from Don knotts.

Technorati Tags : Don, Knotts, rick, moranis, grammy, nomination, country, western, music, Hollywood, news, singer, Ghostbusters

Ever Which Way But Loose

2006-02-01T05:27:00.000-08:00

Once again Hollywood goes out of its way to fuck up a classic. Well, not exactly a classic, but a fun movie nonetheless. Is The Rock this generation's Clint Eastwood? Are things really that bad with the youth?

I think that the kids we have now are way more out of touch with all that has gone before than pretty much every previous generation in history. I can say without seeing this movie, and I can't imagine myself ever bothering to watch it, that it sucks and the Clint Eastwood version was way better.

Technorati Tags : rock, WWF, wrestling, RAW, professional, dwayne, Johnson, clint, eastwood

John Irving on John Irving

2006-01-30T16:04:00.000-08:00

I may be stating the obvious, forgive me if I am. The main characters (including Ruth Cole) in John Irving's A Widow for One Year, are all John Irving. It's the author at different points in his life. Look at the jacket photo of Irving as he describes Ted Cole. Instead of wrestling, which permeates so many of his earlier books, you have squash. Ruth Cole is the Author, Ted Cole is the the present Irving, and Eddie O'Hare is the Young Irving. Of course they all intermingle, and overlap and spread, being parts of the same man and characters in the same writer's novel.

Technorati Tags : john, irving, A, Widow, for, One, Year, books, reading, writing, novel, literature, stories, fiction, autobiography, Vermont, Long, Island

Rush Hour

2006-01-29T20:20:00.000-08:00

The Rush Hour Movies are entertaining shit. Emphasis on
shit. Dumbass action movies that make up in short scenes
and pointless fight scenes what they lack in plot. Note: not
"plot originality" but "plot", period.

Every time I hear something about Rush Hour 3 it has
something to do with Jackie Chan questioning Chris Tucker's
"professionalism", and rightly so. Chris Tucker is just Martin
Lawrence without the screen time to show what an ass he is.
An untalented ass. I figure they shoot each scene ten times
and if he improvises something funny they use it. He does
occasionally say something funny, though I can't remember
anything at present. His humor consists of yelling things in
ebonics, which is funny in and of itself.

As for Jackie Chan, when he learns English I will respect his
"acting". He is an amusing acrobat, nothing more.

So you have an amusing acrobat and a comedian who every
once in a while says something funny. You also get some
crisp action scenes and a decent supporting cast. Not too bad.
The movies don't pretend to be anything more than teenager
entertainment and I appreciate that.

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John Irving

2006-01-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

When I read books like John Irving's A Widow for One Year I get the feeling that I've been missing out, that somehow I
haven't grown up. I have yet to have a relationship as
complex or cold as the relationships he describes. I have yet
to accept the cynical reality of how people are and so I am
still bitter. I still think that there is an ideal to live up to,
places that you don't compromise. Maybe I have an
over-developed sense of entitlement. Maybe I think that I am
obligated to get more than I have any right to expect. Maybe
I look at the normal shifts and changes of relationships and
in people as being wrong because I don't change.

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War and the Opposition

2006-01-28T16:02:00.000-08:00

The opposition to war in general, and the was in Iraq in specific, stem from the idea that humanity has somehow "come a long way", that we should be working to put conflict and mass bloodshed behind us. Which is as dumb an idea as you can have. As long as there are human beings there will be war and the necessity for waging it. Of course, all the reasons look questionable in the light of maimed youngsters coming home and crying bereaved families, but it doesn't meant that they are.

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Michael Douglas and Hollywood Nepotism

2006-01-27T16:36:00.000-08:00

Is there any doubt that Michael Douglas would never have made it in Hollywood if not for his father's name? Oh yeah, there are a lot of famous last names who never amount to amount to anything, I'm not saying that that's the only factor, just that the main contributor to his being known is his daddy. Nicholas Cage (formerly Nicholas Coppola) is another child of nepotism, of dubious talent (search this blog you want more on why I know this) and decidedly unappealing looks, he has primarily his birth name to thank for his success. I can say this because I can think of no other reason for him to have been given as many good roles as he has been.

Michael Douglas has made only one movie where is portrayal of a character actually rose above the mediocre and made a difference to the story. Of course, I mean Wall Street. Otherwise he was and is just a bland white leading man thrust into a part because it was too boring for Mel Gibson and too much of a pussy part for Kevin Costner (back in the 80's-90's).

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The Pink Panther Strikes Back

2006-01-26T16:08:00.000-08:00

From the Pink Panther Strikes Back Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Does your dog bite? Hotel Clerk: No. Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau bowing down to pet the dog: Nice doggie. [Dog barks, bites and mangels Clouseau's hand.] Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite! Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

The Church of Oceans's Twelve

2006-01-25T03:56:00.000-08:00

Ocean's Twelve is all about worshipping Hollywood stardom, it's for those millions whose personal satisfaction is humility before idols. This is for those people who can be awed by another human being. This is for those poeple who can be awed by another human being because they are rich and/or famous and/or goodlooking. In short, People Magazine subscribers, this movie was written just for you. Forget about the plot, it doesn't really have one, I mean there something about some piece of eurotrash called the "Night Fox", and something with Andy Garcia collecting his money, but it's worthless and you, the target-audience, don't really care. You do get to see a lot of Brad Pitt's square little head, and you get to bathe in Clooney's smugness, and you get to wallow in Horse-face's "charm" as she reprises most of the characters she has played in movies like Pretty Woman and Notting Hill. Matt Damon is the best thing in this film, I write this reluctantly because it means nothing. Nobody is funny, nothing is clever or interesting, and there is no reason to see this movie except to see the people who play the parts.

2006-01-24T14:22:00.000-08:00

Hollywood Makes a Romantic Comedy about Bestiality

It had to happen. I had this worked out ten years ago when I figured out that people would find ways to make pretty much anything they really wanted to do seem acceptable. Society would happily go along, of course. I even had a timetable, first homosexuality would become commonplace on TV and in movies, then it would be incest (between adults at first), bestiality, then the unthinkable one, pedophilia. Everything would be justified, everything would be made easy for people's consciences to digest. After that you would have rape, the conflict of this with women's rights would be done away with by providing the semblance of consent, or ensuring that the victim would be completely unsympathetic (say the rape of a terrorist). Rest assured that sometime in the next half-century you will have movies with sympathetic pedophiles and rapists. People will come out of the closet and openly admit bestiality. You will have movies with adult heroes and their 12 year-old girlfriends/wives, who may or may not be their daughters. It sounds horribly ridiculous now, but Brokeback Mountain would have sounded Horribly ridiculous twenty years ago.

Batman and Robin

2006-01-23T21:36:00.000-08:00

Batman and Robin sucked because Joel Schumacher is gay and intent on making Baz Luhrmann-style musicals rather than an action movie. He has no idea how to direct a fight-scene, they all end up looking more like the old Batman and Robin TV series than like the tighter, explosive Tim Burton sequences. Goth oddball he may be, but Burton can pull of reasonable action scenes, the problem is that he only used a handful per movie. What the Batman Franchise needs is John Woo or John Mactiernan, somebody who knows how to make violent sequences balletic and real, not feeling like a West Side Story revival. Yes, the comic book could be ponderous and pretentiously talky sometimes, but occasionally the series would get an edge that no other mainstream comic book had. Real blood-and-guts storytelling. The movies have none of that, partly because the idea of a guy running around in a batsuit is easy to get over in the pages of a magazine, but hard to ignore when translated to real people. It looks stupid. You have to camp it up a bit to distract, or you could add some real R-rated bone-crunching and gunfire. Joel Schumacher did the easier one.

Technorati Tags : batman, robin, joel, schumacher, george, clooney

Hollywood geishas infuriate Japanese and Chinese public

2006-01-23T04:51:00.000-08:00

Hollywood geishas infuriate Japanese and Chinese public

GeishaThe national pride of Japan is hit hard as a new film by Rob Mashall Memoirs of a Geisha presents Japanese traditions in a very Americanized way.

Technorati Tags : geishas, hollywood, japan, china, japanese, chinese

Se7en Script

2006-01-20T17:29:00.000-08:00

Se7en script.

Colin Farrell Sex Tape Transcript

2006-01-20T13:16:00.000-08:00

?Below is the transcript of the Colin Farrell sex-tape. Easily the the most hilarious shit I have heard in a long time. I've highlighted a couple of the best parts for you. Nicole: (Giving him the camera) Here, you hold onto that. (She goes to television). Colin: (Pointing camera at own penis) I am putting this...(camera pans to Nicole's crotch)...right in there. (To Nicole) Come here, come here, pretty. N: Pretty! C: God, you're...as I said the other night, man, if a fucking camera could blush it would be fucking red because you are so fucking pretty. N: Really pretty! (unintelligible) Ok, now I'm putting on a video station. Ok. C: What are you watching, man? Judge fucking...? N: No! I'm trying to change the channel. C: Puttin' on some porn for us? N: (chipper) You want some porn? C: (yelling) I FUCKING LIVE ON PORN! What are you talking about? You're so sexy, you are so fucking sexy. Where's the zoom on this fucking piece of shit? You're fucking gorgeous (laughs). Baby, you're so fucking beautiful, man. N: Yes, my love. C: Aw, the battery's dead...so is my fucking cock. N: (coming towards him) Shut up. C: There it is. N: No, it's not. (The oral commences) C: Oh my God. Where's your lube? N: You want lube? C: Nah, you got me cock in your mouth. My God.

(Nicole stops the oral, she has a pubic hair in her mouth)C: Don't worry, we'll get rid of 'em.N: Yeah, you see that there?C: Yeah, okay, don't worry. We'll fucking lose them. (she continues) Whatever princess wants, princess fucking gets, let me tell you. Holy fuck, you're so fucking beautiful.N: (halts again, more pubic hair troubles) Damn you!C: You're just like...it's like you're going fishing for fucking pubes, man. You're just catching every fucking pube I have.N: I don't want to go fishing.C: By the end of this morning we won't need to shave me, there'll be none left...(she continues)...fuck...you are the sexiest motherfucker I have ever met...holy shit, I didn't know they made bastards as sexy as you, man. You are so fucking hot, baby...mmmmm.(She halts yet again, same problem)N: What the fuck? It's drenched in hair, baby.

C: There's so much fucking...(indecipherable Irishness)(She continues)C:...You're beautiful. Wait till you see yourself, how fucking sexy you are.(Heavy breathing/moaning)(Camera cut. Different angle, seconds later)C: (finding her in camera's view) Where is she? Oh my God...hey baby.N: Hi baby.(She gives him yet more oral)C: My God, you're so fucking beautiful, oh...my God.(moaning/breathing)(She pauses)C: Let me get inside of you.N: Okay.C: Get over here on the couch.N: You want me on the couch. (She goes to couch)

C: (indecipherable Irishness followed by his laughter) (Pans camera to own penis) This is for you, my baby.N: I have to take it in me.

C: My princess.N: Ah, God.(Begin La Sex)C: It's fucking in.N: Yeah, baby.C: Aw, fuck.N: Oh, God.(Moaning/Heavy breathing)C: Look at how fucking beautiful...(Moaning/Breathing gets substantially louder)N: Oh God, oh my God...oh...God...baby...fuck, oh shit...oh shit, oh fuck, oh God, oh God, oh God.(Moaning)N: Oh, my God.C: Oh, my God, you're so fucking beautiful. (They pause) (unintelligible)...me again, come here this way. (they change positions, go for gold)N: Oh, my God.(Moaning/Breathing)C: Oh, baby.(Moaning/Breathing)C: This is some of the shabbiest fucking photography in the history of fucking porn, but you know what? I could give a fuck...oh, baby. (They stop, he gives camera to her) Take this fucking...N: (finding Bullseye in frame) Mmmm, there he is. Oh, my God. (He goes down on her) Oh, my God. Here you are, oh, my God. Oh, my God. (moaning)Oh, my God. You're gonna enjoy this. (He pauses)C: I'm not enjoying this already, baby?N: You're gonna enjoy...

C: Holy fuck, man. Breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner, right here. I'm not even fucking joking.

(He continues)N: Oh, my God.C: Mmmmmm.N: You need some angle shots right now...err...what do we gotta do? Oh, my God, you're gonna make me come. Can we film this? Okay, you know what? We should just set this thing down.C: Give me the fucking thing for a second. (He takes the camera, places it on table). Come here. (He continues his breakfast, lunch, and dinner)N: (unitelligible)...suck...(unintelligible)(Moaning)C: I just want to lick this dry.N: Oh...my God, Colin....your little wicked tongue. (Laughter)(He stops)C: That's the prettiest fucking pussy I've ever seen in my life.N: I hate it.C: Aw, man, you can't fucking say that! (incredulous) You hate it? You can't fucking hate that, girl. She's so beautiful, man. She's fucking gorgeous.N: She's so (unintelligible)C: What would you do? What would you snip? What would you fucking implant? Shut the fuck up.N: Nothing.C: It's beautiful...she's beautiful.N:...no...

C: She's a beautiful little flower.

N: Awwww. (He continues, she climaxes, they stop) You gotta brush your teeth. C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that shit. N: But you're just gonna have cum-mouth. (John Smith picks up camera, focuses on Nicole's white cat which is lounging on the floor next to porn magazines) C: I'm telling you, your pussy is just so fucking beautiful. Look at her. N: Let me see. C: Look at her. Look at your pussy, man. (Her obligatory laughter, he pans over) Okay, what do we do with this thing? What do we do with this thing, princess? N: What do you wanna do? You want to watch what we just did? C: Sure, and we can do it again! N: Yeah. C: God, so much fucking fun...alright, stop the...(camera cuts off)

Technorati Tags : Colin, farrell, sex, tape, transcript

Underworld: Evolution

2006-01-20T12:38:00.000-08:00

As one might have guessed, Underworld Evolution is dreadful. The concept of blood drinking in cinema compared to all the available bad-guy horribleness is so lame that you have to juice it up with something else: make the vampire a good guy, like the TV show Angel, or set it in the future, or find some other way to twist it so that you have an edge. Something old and reliable for the less adventurous, but twisted to make it feel new. This is what Hollywood does best. So yes, this movie su- I mean this movie is no good. Not surprising, but people will go to see Beckinsale's ass and it will make money and almost everybody will be happy.

Technorati Tags : underworld, evolution, vampire, angel

Walmart and Racism

2006-01-19T23:47:00.000-08:00

"Walmart.com's item mapping process does not work correctly and at this point is mapping seemingly random combinations of titles. We were horrified to discover that some hurtful and offensive combinations are being mapped together," she said, adding that the company was "deeply sorry that this happened." Their software recommended Black American themed movies to go with Planet of the Apes. Sounds a little bit too thought-out to be "random".

Technorati Tags : walmart, black, dvd, movies, cinema, planet, apes, black, american, software

2006-01-18T04:46:00.000-08:00

Below is the cast for the upcoming Zodiac movie

, directed by my favorite director, David Fincher. It's not arranged in order of recognizability so you will have to look down the list to find the big names. Hollywood goes right back to the old serial killer well. At least it's from a director who might actually throw in a few original touches.

It's about the real-life serial killer who operated in SF in the 1970's. More on him/her here.

Credited cast:
Aida Bernardino .... Shopper
Jules Bruff .... Catherine Allen
Al Cacioppo .... Detective
Geoff Callan .... Patrolman Zelms
Brad Carr .... Cameraman
Robert Downey Jr. .... Paul Avery
Anthony Edwards .... Armstrong
Mitchell Fink .... Interviewer #2
Steve Fox .... TV Stage Manager
Ted Garcia .... Anchorman #1
Zach Grenier .... Mel Nicolai
Jake Gyllenhaal .... Robert Graysmith
Ciara Hughes .... Darlene Ferrin
Pell James .... Cecelia Shepard
Patrick Scott Lewis .... Bryan hartnell
Barry Livingston .... Story editor
Donal Logue .... Ken Narlow
John Carroll Lynch .... Allen Leigh Arthur
Lee Norris .... Young Mike Mageau
Bijou Phillips .... Linda Ferrin
Peter Quartaroli .... Patrolman Fouke
June Raphael .... Carol Toschi
Brett Rickaby .... Detective Roy
Mark Ruffalo .... Dave Toschi
Bob S�enz .... The Cabbie
Micah Sauers .... David Graysmith
Zachary Sauers .... Aaron Graysmith
Charles Schneider .... Paul Stine
Chlo� Sevigny .... Graysmith's Girlfriend
Ione Skye .... Kathleen John
John Terry .... Charles Theiriot
Tom Verica .... Jim Dunbar
James D. Weston II .... James

Casting

2006-01-17T15:49:00.000-08:00

There are some books, like Cider House Rules by John Irving that you just can't make into movies. Yes, I know he did the screenplay himself, but the little wretch is an egomaniac . Much as I disagree with his beliefs on abortion, it is an exceptional work, way too big and nuanced a story to pare down. Other, simpler books just got fucked up by the director/casting like Mystic River. Sean penn was perfect, nobody else fit the book's characters though. It's one of those movies where if you have read the book, don't bother watching it. Anthony Hopkins was always the wrong person for Hannibal Lector IMO. He doesn't come across like any real life serial killer I've ever read about, doesn't look like one either. The thing is they don't usually look the way people think they look. Anyway, David Carradine or Michael Caine would have been better choices.

Technorati Tags : casting, movies, anthony, hopkins, hannibal, lector, john, irving, mystic, river, sean, penn, david, carradine, michael, caine

2006-01-16T05:28:00.000-08:00

The Alienist by Caleb Carr
The Alienist is pretty exceptional. It's a smart book that manages to not bore with idiot ramblings about the meaning of life or other pointless shit. It manages to tell an actual story and thrill without the basic storyline being particularly original. You won't be surprised by anything except the fact that you are entertained. It's a thriller that thrills, take that Tom Clancy! I would liken it to Tom Harrison's best work (Red Dragon, Silence of the Lambs), only less original and much smarter. The setting is what gets you, Caleb Carr knows his history, I mean the motherfucker really knows his history.He gets you with the details of turn-of-the-century New York, that's the main character. Not the Bertie Wooster-like "hero" or the characters even if he does do a very good job of bringing them to life as well. You feel and breath old New York, which is not necessarily a good thing, but he does a very good job. You also learn a lot of psych-history as the team of detectives profile and track their serial killer.

The best part of Caleb Carr's writing, however is the way he twists the narrative. He knows what you are going to think when you read x (because "x" has been done before) so he makes it into xy. He modifies cliches and makes subtle plot points original. In this he reminds me a lot of Chuck Palahniuk. Both of these guys know how to keep the seasoned reader turning the page. The basic serial-killer plotline will also hook your non-readers, who think it's original ("a book about a serial-killer, wow!") and the fact that the history would be interesting even to a simpleton.

2006-01-14T01:13:00.000-08:00

Five hottest women in film and TV. Understand that if you disagree with me you are full of shit.

5. Rachel Weisz

4. Jorja Fox (with a little meat on her, like in Memento)

3. Kirsten Dunst

2. Catherine Keener

1. Hillary Swank

Some retired loser

2006-01-13T20:12:00.000-08:00

starts a blog in his living room with the hope of being noticed, getting some attention. Several times a day he copies and pastes articles, constantly refreshes CNN.com or Newsmax in the hopes of being able to post something relevant. He comments on on every like-minded site he can find. He wants people to know him, to call him by name, he wants to be in a clicque, a celebrity no matter how minor. Hollywood sells ideas, it sells dreams, and part of that is the supposed "glamor" of the actors. The people they want in their audiences are the people who swoon over Orlando Bloom or Viggo Mortensen, or the ones who are dumb enough to envy them. The people with minds and souls so empty that they will spend money to join fanclubs or buy t-shirts or spend hours writing praises on a Blog. They want the idol-worshipper, the soulless rube. The fool and his money are soon parted and it's the job of everyone who is not a fool to part them from their money. Everybody wants to feel part of something big, close to power, a player.

Technorati Tags : cnn, newsmax, orlando, bloom, viggo, mortensen, blog, blogger, blogging

Love is a Crock

2006-01-13T02:21:00.000-08:00

Love is a Crock

The "love" that Hollywood has taught Americans to believe with movies like Ghost, and now, Tristan and Isolde is like Santa Claus, you only believe in it because you are too dumb to know better. It's a myth. One of those bread-and-circuses things to sedate the populace. There are no soulmates, and nobody is "the one" for anybody else, but it sells tickets and it sells books and Valentine's Day cards and compilation CDs. It gets people married and makes money for divorce lawyers. The idea of "love" is big money. It's a psychological comfort too. It gives hope in something that can come at any time. But it doesn't exist. It's just another crutch. Whatever people say in divorce court, their brains clouded by bitter hindsight, they pretty much all believed they had it at one point, they thought they had found the real thing. We get conditioned from the womb to need companionship, to need other people around us, but nobody else can ever make you happy, you know why? They are too busy focusing on making themselves happy.

Technorati Tags : ghost, movie, cinema, review, romance

The Grudge

2006-01-11T18:47:00.000-08:00

The Grudge was another one of those Hollywood works of marketing, as opposed to real film-making art. It was an entertainment product aimed at young girls. Not too scary, not too disturbing, not too bloody, not too original either, because that would only serve to alienate the dumb and young. What Hollywood's critics don't understand is that stupid people need to watch movies too. They are an active majority in every country and have rights, have needs. They need to be catered to, way more than smarter people. TV isn't enough, Jessica Simpson isn't enough. They need big-budget movies with special effects. They need the Olsen Twins and Orlando Bloom. It is the job of everybody who is not a fool to part them from their money, and Hollywood is playing it's part, are you playing yours?

Technorati Tags : horror, movie, movies, cinema

Million Dollar Baby

2006-01-10T13:25:00.000-08:00

I believe that the correct term for a movie like Million Dollar Baby is "hokey". It's corny and manipulative and completely unbelievable. It still manages to hold your attention. This kind of movie isn't about the plot. Eastwood acts like he hasn't since Unforgiven, complete with actual facial expressions and emotion. Of course, the character isn't a bombastic profiteering user, hence, not realistic, but it's a good acting job. Morgan Freeman was seriously miscast and plays the smartest, most sensitive boxer ever on planet earth. If you have ever met a boxer, especially a retired boxer, you realize that you can't take his character too literally. Swank is hyper-sweet and hyper-likable, unlike any real woman ever, seriously, the closest thing you could relate the character to would be a really affectionate puppy. She acts with that whole-hearted intensity that real actors get when they see a potential Oscar-role. She also has a nicer ass than I previously thought. To sum up, Million Dollar Baby is more along the lines of fantasy than something relating to real life, and throws up a bunch of characters that exist nowhere in humanity, but they are thrown up very well. The plot is ridiculous, but well told. It also has no message whatsoever, except maybe the old shared-genes-does-not-a-family-make one, or maybe it's the even older love-does-what-it-takes one.

Technorati Tags : hilary, swank, clint, eastwood, morgan, freeman

Heat

2006-01-09T10:17:00.000-08:00

There's this big sidewalk shoot-out scene in Heat, where Al Pacino's character Lt Vincent Hanna is telling all the bystanders to get down. Nobody listens, they continue to run around screaming and get shot. Tom Sizemore takes a little girl hostage. This little girl was standing there frozen with fear. This little girl was in a red, white, and blue outfit. The thing about people who are insulated from violence is that when it happens they go wild with panic. The thing about your average American is that they are insulated from violence. By violence I mean the reality, NOT merely the idea, that another human being is presently willing to kill you, if not deliberately trying to. You have your paranoid Americans who think that you can prepare for it. You can, but not without an idea of what you're preparing for. Real self-defence, when the the person trying or willing to kill you is armed and already firing, so to speak, is very different from what you see in the movies. It involves being desperate to live, and being willing to get hurt if necessary. It's ugly and fearful and nasty.

Technorati Tags : al, pacino, robert, deniro, heat, movies, cinema, reviews, tom, sizemore, val, kilmer

Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-07T02:01:00.000-08:00

I am not going to see Brokeback Mountain. I'm way too unenlightened to see two guys swapping spit as anything but two guys swapping spit. Reading the reviews on IMDB.com I am 100% sure that NOT ONE was written by a straight guy. "It has changed my perception, I must confess, about certain aspect of same sex love because I didn't think of same sex when I was watching it, I saw two human beings (amazing performances by both actors)I have the feeling "Brokeback Mountain" will make history, deservedly so." "A love story like no other, told without inhibitions, without cheap shots. With an honesty that is more unique than rare." "Every frame is a moment, the silences are exquisite, the humans are as humans are and we're allowed to dive into their hearts without tricks without illusions. Raw, limpid, poetic and above all, true. " Damn! Hard to imagine a heterosexual male being so adoring of the subject-matter.

Technorati Tags : movies, gay, brokeback, mountain, jake, gyllenhaal, heath, ledger